Thursday, August 11, 2011

Chapter 12: Girl 4- The Murder of A Heart

So thus far the lesson learnt is- flirting is the most dangerous double edged sword invented by mankind. You meet a great gal, start flirting right away, the worst thing that can happen to you is- love! So if you meet a great girl who loves you a lot, don't think that your love is all that she needs and her love is all that you need. You two also need to be on the same page about a lot of things. The biggest bullshit that the world of dating has been putting up with is "opposites attract". No, they don't.

If you aren't attracted to her in a way that would make you to climb down a valley of snakes just to get her a flower, let her go! Let her find her prince which she eventually will. Till the day you don't let her go, you will be the ogre who holds her in his cage. And the day you let her go, you'd be the bastard who left her for no reason. So, moral of the story... if you hit the switch and the lights are not on, leave the room. Don't wait for the magic, it either is, or it isn't.

Now this takes us to a dilemma! Compare Girl 3 and 4 and you'll be taken to a conundrum. Girl 3 was a classic case of delay which resulted in damage beyond repair while Girl 4 was a case of damage tough to repair due to lack of delay!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Chapter 11: Say hello to Girl 4

Would the tortoise narrate to its kids how it lost to a rabbit in the race? Would the villain of a masala bollywood thriller tell his kids where he went wrong? In my case, the answer is "yes". The whole point of this blog is to make you learn from my mistakes in an entertaining manner. That brings me to Girl No. 04.

It was the stuff fairy tales are made of, sans the magic. It had promises, intimacy, love (?), caring for each other; what it didn't have was the typical madness that characterizes a love story. It did have madness alright, it was a mad mad relationship, but more like the tacky madness that makes your stomach churn, certainly not the one that makes you go awww.

How I met her? Well, college function, working together, chit-chatting, exchange of mobile numbers, harmless flirting, harmful flirting and all hell broke loose. I deny it tooth to nail but the truth is that it is a clear-cut case of the dreaded phenomenon called "rebound"!! On my part, it started with a simple "what-if?" What if I can't love anyone anymore? What if I wouldn't be able to love my own wife? What if the best part of my life is over? What if Girl 3 falls in love with someone else? They get married, have kids?

On Girl 4's part, the story started with another "What if"? What if I was destined to meet this guy and spend my whole life with him happily ever after? Yikes!

She loved me, she was jealous of my female friends, she cried for me, she took me very seriously. And I? I was scared!


Saturday, February 5, 2011

Chapter 10: Where I went wrong.

Kids, in every relationship, there is always a point which is like a flag pole with a skull and two crossed bones. A point beyond redemption. This flag is visible from a very far far distance but, some people ignore it; well they rather choose to ignore it. The girl no. 2 I told you about? Remember her?

Well, turns out there was another side of the story. I described how she came on to me and how she slapped my back until my vertebra broke but I never described the darker side of that story. Well, that story was waiting to be told, and here it goes-

Before that train journey ever happened, before we became friends, she had a relationship. That night when she cried in front of me, she didn't mean to be that damsel, she meant to cry and only to cry. She had this abusive boyfriend who took liberties on her, verbally. Not very cool. It was an easy choice in my head, ditch the guy, stop talking to him, change your phone number, avoid him. Wasn't so easy for her. For the reason I never understood and for the reason I don't have a girlfriend yet. It was love. Unadulterated love.

When I was with her, I was rushing things. I wanted her to do away with this boyfriend and elope with me to a fairytale life. She wanted to sort it out. I never really respected her past.

Ok, before this turns into a weepy confession of sorts, let's rush things (old habits die hard) fast forward to the present day:-

We were friends who never talked until this January when we exchanged numbers again and got talking. We still are chalk and cheese but boy! Chalk and cheese can talk! She is in a happy relationship currently and I sort of interviewed her on what went wrong with my relationship with her... so, here is, for the first time, someone guest authoring my blog and it has to be the kindest, sweetest, craziest, a little hyper and the only ex-girlfriend I ever had. She talked and I took notes.


"You need a heart to love someone, not your brain. Let your heart work the magic for you. You will surely find someone. It's not important how you start it; it's not important how you meet her! It's important how you maintain it."

"Dear, it's a tough job to maintain a relationship. It takes effort. A little bit of compromise, faith, trust and understanding... can work wonders. Never leave the important things unsaid. Basic mistrust arises from lack of communication. We say all kinds of stuff but leave the important one unsaid."

"Be careful with your words. Don't use words that you don't like for yourself. Words are important."

"We all are insecure. We all are afraid that we will lose our loved ones at some point of time. All you need to do is be patient. Give her some space, some air to breathe. Don't ever make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Understanding is the key.

"When you love someone, love her 100%. Don't expect to be loved the way you love her. Love her in your unique way and be loved in her unique way."

"Breaking up is not the solution to any problem. Sit down and sort it out. You tend to rush everything! Time can do magic. Time is the key. Over time, all relations go stronger."

"Then there are those small things which you have to discover with your partner. They are unique to every relation."

On being asked- How do I know that I really love this girl and this is not attraction?

"Attraction may diminish over a day to even few months. Love remains forever. Attraction fades when you see someone better than the earlier. But when you start reading someone's heart, your heart goes and attaches itself to that person's heart."

"I've seen my mother and father fight, since then I decided I will never allow my brain to work in a relationship, I will go with my heart, wherever it takes me. Even if I am wrong at times. It's good to be wrong sometimes. It makes you happier."

On being asked whether she believed in soul-mates..
"No, but I want to be with [name of her boyfriend] forever"

Where do you think I went wrong when I was with you?
"You should never try to change the person you are with. Someone who likes you, tries hard to be liked by you. Compliments are good but, what hurts is when you try to change her. And give her time and space."

So there it was!
What do you think?