tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63801285056498013572024-02-18T21:36:24.788-08:00How I met herAbhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-80951530138868648102015-01-18T20:34:00.002-08:002015-01-18T20:34:37.741-08:00About loving again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /><br />Of late, I have been feeling a little bit in love. Oh, who am I kidding, I am once again away from the shores, diving in the deep trenches of this endless ocean! The feeling is liberating but it ties to down to an extent too. I can no longer feel like a boat without an anchor. The girl who I love knows how I feel but she, to quote her own words, is "not sure how she feels about me." My initial knee-jerk response to that was that if she isn't sure, she is not in love and I should probably run as fast as I can. But, it was only after seeing her once again in a crowded marketplace, when I realized that although it would be wise to not love at all, wiser even to love someone who loves you back but, if there is one thing that love lacks, it is reason and wisdom.<br /><br />I know, it sounds very sappy and romantic. It is the cheesiest thing to say 'I love you' to someone these days. Mostly because you hear it being said to freely and sometimes insincerely. But, there is literally no way I can restrain myself from loving her. I am enjoying this state of helplessness and it gets cheesier from here but I am not gonna apologize for feeling a certain way.<br /><br />When I hear her voice, I want it to be the only thing I hear; when I see her smile, it brightens up my day. When she says she likes me, I hear nothing else. This feeling, even when unrequited, un-reciprocated is blissful. I want to hang on to this feeling, even if it means getting hurt.<br /><br />Although, you don't need reasons to love someone, let me try to explain who she is and why I love her. She is that girl who would sit by your side and you'd feel richer by a million dollars. She is dusky, the crisp baked colour of golden sunshine. She smiles with all her teeth and her eyes get all squinty when she does that. She hides just the right amount of shyness at the ends of her smiles. Her smiles get crooked at the corners due to the extra-playfulness of her lips. She talks with her hands- gesturing vividly as her nose gently twitches with a mischief. Her hair come a little ahead to cover her forehead on the sides as if trying to protect her from all things bad. I haven't even come yet to her best part- the eyes! She has the eyes of someone who roams the ancient deserts. They have such power and they are such happy eyes at the same time. I look at them and think to myself- wow! Those are the eyes I never wanna see crying. I have been in love before but not this way. It has always been someone who I either adore or admire. She is someone I adore AND admire. And of course, I love her.<br /><br />I know all this gooey romantic jazz is kind of a put-off. Girls fall for men. Men who can fix things, men who can carry them along the rivers. I am not her saviour. I am her friend and I want her to love me. I don't know how to seize the day, how to win her or floor her. Perhaps, she will never find her man in me but, I don't want that either. I want her to feel what I feel for her. I think that is good enough to make it work. For once, I think I have fallen for a damsel who doesn't need saving.</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-55888662105219460982014-02-02T14:40:00.001-08:002014-02-02T14:40:22.150-08:00A poem about a girl I just met.<p>A breeze crept up,<br>
a lonesome tree.<br>
The leaves rustled,<br>
they now were free.</p>
<p>As they took off,<br>
to unknown terrain.<br>
The tree smiled,<br>
was it fall again?</p>
<p>Autumn's kiss left him,<br>
thirsty for more.<br>
He had waited a lot,<br>
he could wait s'more.</p>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-91293567031062530092014-02-01T11:18:00.000-08:002014-02-01T11:18:06.445-08:00Chapter 17- Getting Over Girl 5 and New Delhi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kids, I might just have moved on and stayed disconnected with my past as I closed the final chapter with girl no. 5. But the thing about past is, it stays with you. So, she stayed. We remained on talking terms but one thing was for sure, I had given up on her. Mentally, if you're free of any bondage, your life actually starts pacing up. It had happened with girl 3 when I finally had decided to move on and suddenly I was in a whole other pace. Now, the same thing was happening with Girl 5, I was now free!<br />
<br />
Well, the history repeated itself and I was in a whole other place! Even geographically. In June 2013, your dad came to New Delhi to prepare for the civil sevices examinations. If anything, distance does bring a sense of closure in your life. When you move to a new place, no matter how much you're attached to the older one, the new people, the new experiences do kind of take your mind off things. And that's what was happening. I was alone in a new city and was just getting to know my batchmates in the new class. I had prepared for the post-graduate exams in dentistry but that was half-hearted. My heart was somewhere else and soon, I was going to find it out.<br />
<br />
Anyway, this new classroom had some 70 odd students and I had dreamt of finding your mother there. It kind of felt like my last shot. Now I look back and can only laugh at my sense of hurry. Of course, I am writing this in that time but, I am assuming that I will laugh at past me once I meet your mom. In this new class, I chose to sit in the front row and surprisingly, and not by meticulous planning at all, two girls sat on either of my sides. I felt that I'd be ending up with at least one of them, I mean what were the odds? I was a hot doctor-cum-cartoonist-cum-entertainer. I could at least score one out of two. Turned out the one on my left was married and the one to my right was engaged. Now, it was a very sad time in my life and there were people I befriended who I regretted almost instantaneously. Here's the thing about bad people- they're always ready to enter your lives, easy to approach and once you let your guard down, they march right in, with a sense of authority. Thankfully, the class didn't last more than 6 months and at the later part of class, I switched my seat to find new company. It was also the time when I realized the importance of keeping the search on and not settling with someone below your expectations. Unfortunately, I did realize that there was no one upto my expectations in that class. I did gain access to a group which was mostly girls, well, all girls (by coincidence again) but then I gave up my access rights because it didn't go down well with a certain group of guys who I had befriended (oh God why!) by mistake.<br />
<br />
It was an even sadder part of my life when I was trying to ward off a guy who persisted with me like a leech. It eventually took an ugly confrontation (thankfully telephonic) to shoo him away but that did depress me further as I had never thought I'd have to formally "break up" with a guy "friend" and that too, for being too "bitchy".<br />
<br />
Moral of the story- Choose your friends wisely.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-60885024416353109502013-10-24T10:12:00.001-07:002013-10-24T10:12:12.337-07:00Texting in a relationship- The Hidden code<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kids, SMSing or texting as we know it, came to us with the advent of the digital era and the introduction of TDMA and CDMA technologies. Little did its founders know that it will soon develop into a code language of its own. Since it has the disadvantage of not being as expressive as a face-to-face conversation or a phone call, the users have developed intricate textual signals which convey the message, sometimes even more subtly than a live conversation.<br />
<br />
Relationships too, are not untouched by the phenomenon. I think the credits to developing this language goes to couples who spend more time tapping the keyboard than anything else. Relationships thrive on conversations. We are all strangers programmed to treat each other with suspicion until we start talking. A couple is basically two strangers who talk a lot. Most of these talks happen in their minds. All the backspacing one does while typing a long expressive message is the actual conversation which remains unsaid. Unsaid doesn't necessarily mean unexpressed. Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, friends- we all leave nothing unexpressed. Here's an attempt based on my tryst with the devil called 'texting' for understanding the hidden code behind those words-<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>1. The salutations.</b><br />
'Sup?' might be the most common way of a guy to sound cool while trying to start a conversation with a girl. It is non-chalant, it was sort of cool when people first started it using. Now, it has been over-used yet, finds place in the vocabulary of 15 to 19 year old males with sparse moustaches and half-cracked pubescent voices.<br />
Next comes the 'Hiiiiiii'. It's a 'Hi' suffixed with the amount of "i"s directly proportional to the cuteness being attempted by the sender. Other variants are "Hellooooooooooooo", Or "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" or "Hellozzzzzzzzz". These used to be girly expressions but not anymore. The market forces of supply and demand have now made the extra vowels added at the end of salutations sort of mandatory. In few relationships, a simple "Hello" or a bland "Hi" represents that something is not right. It might also indicate the aftermath of a huge fight and may soon be followed by the dreaded "We need to talk."<br />
There are also the foreign salutations like "Hola", "Aloha" etc which sound exotic. These are basically pretentious in origin and are used most commonly by guys who are trying to get laid.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Something is wrong.</b><br />
<br />
When you tell your girlfriend something you did last night (party, night-out, texting with that random chic on FB etc) and her reply, after 5 minutes, comes as "Hmmm.. K". You have got to be an idiot to think that everything is "K". Sometimes even with the number of 'm's in the 'hmmm', you can estimate the number of sly comments that are going to come your way in the future.<br />
<br />
I think 'K' is the most versatile character of the English alphabet in terms of its utility in texting. 'Hmm.. K' expresses dismay while 'Oh.. K' may express surprise or shock. 'Kk' is used to express affirmation while a plain 'K' is an emphatic conversation-killer. 'Okay' is used to express agreement while the same is expressed by girls using "okie-dokie" and sometimes just "okie". Lastly, 'Hmph.. K' is used to show exasperation and is sort of like saying "I give up, you win!"<br />
<br />
<b>3. The sign-offs.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Goodbyes are the hardest part in texting. A plain 'Bye' sounds more like "Goodbye forever! Good riddance!" A girl might just be using 'Bye' to show her indignance to your behaviour or might just be flirting- trying to see how restless you get when she starts to leave. If you read it wrong, you might end up infuriating her. And if she's the rare kind who uses 'Bye' for the meaning it was intended, and you keep talking, you might be viewed as a 'pile-on'.<br />
<br />
A 'Bbye', 'Buh-bye', 'Byeeeeeeee' are politer ways of signing out. A smiley emoticon and sometimes three to four ones (as necessitated) are required before completing the sign out.<br />
'TC' is another critical tool to express various meanings. When someone says 'tc' abruptly, they might not necessarily want you to 'take care' as much as you might imagine. 'Tc' is more of a semi-polite goodbye which when expanded, reads- "TAKE CARE of your own business, leave me alone".<br />
<br />
Ok, it is a vast universe with ever-changing definitions and if I delve any deeper, I risk irretrievable damage to my actual language skills. So, I'd just stop here. Hope you learned something.<br />
Bbye!<br />
:) :) :)<br />
Gn<br />
Sd<br />
Tc<br />
Ttyl<br />
Gtg<br />
K.. Bbyeeee!</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-52345371286182311052013-04-04T06:55:00.000-07:002013-04-04T07:09:04.660-07:00Chapter 16: Love? ROTFLMAO<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So kids, thus far you know that I had begun to be a good boyfriend. I still couldn't remember dates and for some Godforsaken reason, I couldn't remember her birthday. I kept on logging on to Facebook and confirming the date. I was afraid kids, I had a point to prove. It wasn't love. To be completely honest to myself, I just wanted myself to succeed. I didn't know how but I wanted it badly. So, I gave myself a crash course in love and I crashed. Badly.<br />
<br />
After introducing her to my parents during my graduation, I had mentally prepared myself to marry her. She didn't always "get" me, we didn't always have a lot to talk about but I wanted us to work. I went on vacations after graduation and came back to Davangere as an even more charming and loving boyfriend. I started doting on her, doing stuff that I wouldn't usually do, I had to express whatever I had for her. That was the only way I felt. She was taken aback because she was ready to take a few steps back by then. The lack of chemistry was pretty evident to her by then and a guy had entered her life who belonged to her world.<br />
<br />
So, here I was- on a different plane but ready to do whatever love makes one do and she was there at crossroads where she had to choose between a loving, caring boyfriend who doesn't really "get" her OR a douchebag who thinks it's ok to hit on a committed girl, but shares great camaraderie with her. She held on to me, looking for an escape route. I had provided her many in the past but now I had blocked them all; while I started falling for her as I slowly got to know her better. It's tricky kids, love is tricky. It comes uninvited and stays forever. Yet, it eludes you when the moment comes; that way, it's a bit of a bastard. Ok, don't tell your mother I said the B-word in front of you guys.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so then came December. She had to leave for vacations, I was madly in love with her which she was pitying me for. But then, few days before she was about to leave, we had a big fallout. Yes, we broke up for a short while. All she wanted was this opening- she went ahead and told it to her crush. She didn't want to mend it. They got closer further. The walls were closing in on me but I was not yet ready to give in. If I knew that she didn't feel the same way as I did, I'd have stopped myself from falling in that pit but I didn't know. I needed to learn my lesson. So, I went ahead and patched up with her. I was happy, she was confused and the guy was disgusted. He stopped talking to her because she was back with me again. Yes, I know what you're thinking- "What a douche! Right?" Well, she was in love with that douche. You know I am in love with your mother, I'd be a douche for her!<br />
<br />
Anyway, so this guy was pissed at her and they were supposed to go together in the bus. She was sorry for him. And she was about to be sorry for me. I came to drop her brimming with happiness. I spotted the guy and his douche friends making lewd gestures but I trusted my girl to dislike such people so I didn't bother much with my words of caution. All of it now seems like a cosmic plan to teach me a lesson. Anyway, they ended up kissing that night. She reached home and finally mustered strength to break up with me and my puppy love. It came as a shock to me as I had no idea it'd come to this. People knew about them, they were talking behind my back but I was totally blind to all of it. I was in the wonderland of true, unconditional love. It all came shattering down as I heard her.<br />
<br />
Next few days, I spent dealing with the news of rejection and betrayal. I knew there was nothing real between us but I had started to feel comfortable with whatever we had. I was building on it. I had plans, I was not through. I believed that I could be way more awesome than before. I was in love with her. So, I did what a desperately in love person would do, I begged her to take me back. I didn't want to know why she had dumped me in the first place. I just wanted another chance. Big mistake kids. If it doesn't word the first time, it will never work. I wanted to make that mistake because I felt alive when I was hurt. I liked the hurt. It was making me a better person again. I was paying for my sins through this and blood was finally reaching my heart. I had begun weaving my story- my fairytale. So she forgave me out of courtesy, just like I used to during our earlier fights. Just because it's uncool to hurt someone. She came back to me. Needless to say, Mr.Douche was not okay with that.<br />
<br />
The thing with love is- if you try to hold on to it, it escapes even faster. It you try forcing it, try to do everything right, you'll end up doing everything wrong. Only the love that comes naturally, flows like a river, fills you and empties you all at the same time, can fulfill you. So, while trying my best to be the best boyfriend in the world, I imploded and we again had a falling out right before she was about to come back. It was her fault too as she might have been rooting for this breakup. The douche had made her feel guilty about patching up with me by acting like he had been betrayed. This is what some people do, kids. They make you feel like you owe it to them. This girl gave in to him and again broke up with me. They were again together and I was lonely again. I do not remember the reason for all these breakups because it was never important. One of us was desperately trying to get out of this relationship and the other one was trying too hard to stay in it.<br />
<br />
Fifteen days later, tired by this douche's antics, she messaged me. She wanted to know how I had been. Now in a normal scenario, fifteen days is a good enough time to forget someone and move on with your life but I had no reason to move on, she hadn't explained to me what had actually happened and what this guy used to talk to her about behind my back. There were so many unanswered questions and I wanted to know what I had been doing wrong to lose her again and again. I needed a future version of me to come and slap me then and there and tell me that I need to quit being a detective and stop with the obsession. Anyway, I met up with this girl again and then we talked. She wasn't particularly happy with the douche. Well, I don't intend to paint a picture but he was a typical "duuuude" and I mean that in the most negative sense possible. I leave the rest to your imagination. So we kissed and made up! I had decided that I will do everything that she wanted her man to do. I wanted to leave no room for any other guy to enter. I did the most adventurous things possible, I wish not to disclose the details. Your mom knows all of them and she still scoffs at me for them. So, then came February, my birth month. I was with her. I celebrated my 25th birthday with her. It was a bliss. She was slowly falling for me, I could see it. I could see love in her eyes which was the only thing that I wanted to see. Maybe that's why I could see it and not the confusion and conflict that still was going on in her head. Even on the night of my birthday, this douche was hogging her mind space by texting her, telling her how miserable he was because of her. Yup! She was replying to those texts! She was burdened and I was thinking it was something I did. I tried to cheer her up but to no avail. It was painful to know that she wasn't totally obsessed with me as I was. But, as I said, I was paying for my sins. Remember how I murdered a heart and played with the feelings of few others. I had it coming to me and I wanted all my sins to get washed away. I wanted a clean record with "karma" so that when you mother finally comes to me, I can shower all my love on her with no "oops!" moments.<br />
<br />
So after my birthday, she told me that she had been talking to this guy. I found it weird and shocking. I thought we had enough of this guy and that we could really look into the far future where douches like these don't matter. This time, she was not on the same plane as me. She didn't want to look too far in the future and this douche was actually around her all the time, trying his best to mend his ego. He had been speaking bad about her in public and his friends absolutely hated her but somehow she knew all this and yet couldn't keep herself away from him. Looking back, I think it was something that I still can't understand. I might attempt to say it was "true love" or "fatal attraction" but in my mind, I still don't know why it kept on happening all the time. I think it was me- I had this habit of mentioning this guy all the time, he never left her mind because either we were talking about him or he was texting her. When someone attacks you from all the fronts, what else can you do?<br />
<br />
So then we broke up again. I guess, we did that one more time after that too. We had seriously finished our quota of cute Ross-Rachel type breakup- patch-up routines and it was getting sort of nauseating. But I saw a lot of romance in that. It was like we were inseparable- Big LOL. So then came the day of me leaving Davangere. And we met for one more time and she was again miserable with the douche, we made up again. Seriously, one day to go and we couldn't control ourselves. I do have to mention that it had started looking pretty awesome. I think I was becoming the douche slowly. I mean even when we were broken up, I used to call her and talk. Even when I went to Goa, I finished all my balance talking to her. It was pretty stupid. I just wanted to win. There were other happy couples in my group and they were all fully-functional. I was jealous of them in my own stupid way. I just wanted to defeat them. It was love but it was many things more. Love is easier. It is never this tough and there is nothing romantic about trying too hard to make stuff work and failing!! Keep that in mind.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so we spent that time together and then I left Davangere. I left my favourite shirt with her and felt like I'll be back right away. I didn't even realize that I was leaving the place forever. It was beautiful; just for that moment of true love, I think the whole pain, the whole drama, the struggle was worth it. So then we got separated. I was insecure; what never worked on so many attempts, how would it work from so far. Then slowly I got at peace, the guy stopped texting her and she also for a fraction of time, stopped thinking about him. Things got peaceful. She had resigned to fate. She now wanted to be the one who planned about kids and talked to parents about marriage. She even told her mom that she wanted to marry me. I was on cloud 9. It was pretty amazing then guess what? The douche came back!!<br />
<br />
ROTFLMAO right? This time he came back with a vengeance. Any other girl who was in perfect love would have shooed him away, I mean it was creepy. But, you know creepiness is subjective. Turns out, I was still the creepy one. She started lying to me. I told her to at least be honest, and that I was okay with everything else. I didn't actually want honesty, I wanted the douche away from her. From my viewpoint, it looked creepy that they were talking.<br />
<br />
Anyway, he kept on trying and then one day I broke up with her. I had come to a point where I could easily spot her lies and it was getting pathetic. It seemed as if she didn't even put enough effort in her lies. You could say that knowing when the other person is lying is pretty romantic; well, it's not! It just means you know them too well. So, when we broke up, she went ahead and told the douche about it. The douche began trying for her with all his guns a-blazing. I knew this detrimental for her, so much so that she might lose everything she had- her self-respect, her charm, her innocence, her personality. I tried to save her again but she lied to me again. The douche was seriously relentless and remember, I was the creepy one in her story. So, when it reached a certain point where I could see the hilarity and pathos behind it all, and she tried leaving me again, I called her up and ended things for good. It was a rollercoaster ride and it had taught me many lessons. It was a lovely bond at times and we did have our moments but, you know as your mom has taught me, love is not a serious of many great moments but something that fills that gap between two crazy, awesome moments.<br />
<br />
This was my richest and longest experience with love and it made me stronger and prouder. I am proud of how I never lost hope and trusted her even while knowing that she is going to fall. She was an amazing human being with a heart of gold, I am so lucky to have met her but, yes, that heart was not meant for me. It's okay though, don't pity your old man kids, I had paid for all my sins, I had learned to cry and let go; and I had learned to laugh and never give up. I was well-equipped as I waited for your mom. And boy! was the wait worth it all!!</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-38716545926891918492012-12-22T00:12:00.003-08:002012-12-22T00:12:57.001-08:00Chapter 15- Toying with love, playing with fire.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">So, the story had begun, I had jumped in a
river that I didn’t fully understand.
Kids, I might vehemently deny that it was not a rebound, but it was. It
was forced, it was uneasy and weird. After my recent break-up and an older
lingering romance, I was laden with baggage. What I couldn’t understand was
that in relationships, like attracts like. She was equally laden. Oops!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">A word about this girl: Amazing human
being, sweet, kind but with a past that couldn’t be shrugged off. I tried to
help her smile about all the things that had befallen her in her past but, I
guess, for some people, you just don’t have the cure. I was betrayed by love:
the emotion. She was betrayed by people.
People she trusted. She trusted easily and was not afraid to swim upstream. Sadly,
she had faced a lot of ugliness in her life and I think it had made her a bit
too persuasive towards finding happiness. I was much at ease letting happiness
get to me at its own peace.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">So, we started dating. I was happy to be in
a relationship but, I was yet to know her. She was guarded yet, loving. For
example, she would read my text messages but, wouldn’t let me read hers. She
was afraid to be judged and I was eager to judge. So, we took the long,
torturous path of finding each other; the path of regular fights and
misunderstandings and the clearing out sessions later on. By “we”, I mean “I”.
Most fights were initiated by me driven by my impatient need to make this
relationship the best in the world or get it over with. I was reckless with
her, sometimes intentionally, just because I needed her to share everything
with me, not in a “daily report” sort of way but in a philosophical way. I
wanted our minds to meet and ideate together. She kept on playing the
“thoughtless, emotional, stuck-up, talentless damsel in distress” role for a
month or so which I knew (rather hoped) wasn’t her true self. She refused to
take a stand because she was the exact opposite in her approach toward this
relationship. While I was reckless, she was careful, sceptical and gentle. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Now, I don’t remember clearly but, I think
it was on our road trip to Chitradurga that we had our first major fight in
which she actively participated. The topic being her dislike towards me
comparing her to my ex. Fair point. For me, that was the first day she began to
talk to me. We had earlier shared how “mushy talk” bores us both and how lame
are the terms “boyfriend and girlfriend” and how “clinginess” is such a
turn-off for both of us, but these weren’t conversations. I could cover all
these topics and more on a bus journey with a total stranger. The first time I
made her really angry was the first time I was talking to her. Wrong way to do
it, kids, wrong way to do it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">What ensued next was the “behaviour
modification” period initiated by me; knowing that I had the upper hand in the
relationship, I began to turn evil. In every relationship, there is a time when
you try to change the person you love and here is the lesson kids- DON’T. This
“behaviour modification” period was too long and hard to bear for her because
we didn’t get a proper “honeymoon period”- those initial days in a relationship
where all things are shiny and glossy and the world in annoyingly perfect. I
had already spent a honeymoon period with my ex and that was too recent. I was gritty
and unromantic which was unfair but she played along.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I am not proud of the behaviour
modification period, kids. I was an unruly brat with more frequent mood swings
than a PMSing girl. Yes, I said PMSing. It’s about time you understood these
terminologies. You’re growing up! Go look it up in the dictionary. I was
judgemental. I was closely looking for character flaws. I didn’t want to fail
again. I made sure that she was loving, caring, kind,
calls-you-the-right-number-of-times-a-day kind of girl. I was the kind of
boyfriend who shouted at his girl if she showed any trace of selfishness or
clinginess, if she called me when I was in the middle of something, if she
asked too many questions. I am not proud, kids. You don’t do that to a girl.
Surprisingly, she took it all and still stood tall! She passed all tests; she
warmed my cold heart and taught me how to love. She could grin and bear it all
with a love that said- “I’m not leaving you, no matter what!” One such night
was when I had made her cry (in my defence, she cried at the drop of a hat), I
had my first tears of guilt and love. I was suddenly thankful to her for
everything. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><b>Love Begins</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Both of us were careful with our
relationship. She was careful not to hurt me while I was careful not to get hurt
again. She was this sage and I was this decoit. Now, every such story is
incomplete without the quintessential change of heart. I started noticing all
the nice things in her. The way she looked at me, way she laughed at all my
unfunny jokes, the way she found reasons to stay with me, spend time with me;
it was almost as if she was overcompensating for something. It was beyond my
understanding. I expected a love-hate relationship which could finally grow
into a love-love relationship but I was given the good thing too soon. I was
happy and wanted to keep her happy too, for life. She had amazing dancing
skills and enjoyed her dance, a quality I hadn’t noticed before. I started
looking for more. I noticed how she could cutely look at you with those innocent
eyes and make your heart melt, how she snorted while laughing, how she took it
to her heart when things didn’t fall quite right in clinics and classes. I
taught her to let things go and relax. I wanted to see her grow as a person, I
wanted to be her best friend and her confidante. I asked her to write and her
first two blog entries were impressive. She had depth of thought and clarity of
mind. She was sure of what she wanted. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Sometimes when you refuse to look at
something, you fail to see how amazing it is. Gosh! How I regretted wasting
those past ten months trying to carve something out of this stone only to
realize later on that it was already a diamond. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Kids, one of the earliest signs of love is
that you start unselfishly doing things for you. I would have done anything for
her in the past too but now I started enjoying making her happy. I began
feeling the warmth of a relationship. I had finally let her in through the
doors in my heart. I was never so sure of any other girl in my past. More so,
because this time, it was mutual. I wanted her to meet my parents. I wanted her
to be buddies with my mom so that there could be harmony at home ten years from
now. In my mind, I was married to her. She was putting up an amazing barbecue
in our farmhouse on a lazy, cloudy Sunday afternoon while our kids rode
bicycles in the field. I was in love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">I even introduced her to my family during
my graduation time and once even tried to make her talk to my mom on phone. I
was being an idiot, I was rushing things, like they do in mad, unadulterated
love. I am very proud of that Abhyudaya those days. I sort of made up for my
mistakes in the past and was working on our relationship every day. There was
this imminent looming scenario of me passing out and leaving Davangere but I
was ready for an LDR. Go look up LDR in the dictionary! I could make it work
anyhow. I had faith.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><b>The Side Effects Of Love</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Love is not a single, isolated emotion,
kids. I was mistaken, fooled by the picture they paint in romantic movies.
There are so many crimes born out of love in real life, so many stories of
betrayal. Possessiveness, jealousy, misery- they're all children of love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">More on that later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-IN">Much love from Papa! </span></div>
</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-5098105532103081652012-12-17T02:03:00.002-08:002012-12-17T02:03:34.622-08:00Chapter 14: Finding true love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kids, till now I have not introduced you to the concept of picture perfect fairy tale romance. Well, it's time! Till now all my stories had a "loose grip over the way things moved in a relationship" sort of element. Here is where it all changes to a Utopian world where things were just the way they should be.<br />
<br />
This story starts in the month of August in the year 2011. I had just broken up with Girl 4, virtually breaking her heart for her own good. This misplaced sense of righteousness was riding high on my head at that point of time. I was at home with my final year BDS results still awaited and it was around 8th of August when I logged into Facebook to check my page...<br />
<br />
WHOA WHOA WHOA! So, this picture perfect love story started online?<br />
<br />
Yes, it was the lamest way to begin a love affair but, it was destined to grow into something beautiful, something meaningful. And yes, I am using the word "love". So as I was saying- I logged on to facebook and there I saw a query on Bapuji group by a girl about the college and its credibility. I was happy to help. Few days letter, I had a pending friend request from her. I was not smitten at the first sight but, I was fresh out of a relationship and flirting was my only survival strategy. My heart was still ailing from the rejection by Girl 3 and the guilt of breaking the heart of no. 4.<br />
<br />
Here's the lesson kids- Flirting is injurious to long-term health. There might be advice columns promoting healthy flirting but I assure you that there is no such thing. It's like dipping your toe before jumping in the pool and if you don't like the pool enough, do not dip the toe for God's sake.<br />
<br />
That is not to say that I didn't like this girl. I just had never seen her, had no idea how she was, her emotional baggage and the suspicious nature of her friend request (being a girl). Making the first move by a girl was unheard of in my world. I suspected that she was probably a dude who wanted to molest me and steal all my money. I took it upon myself to ascertain her femininity and exchanged phone numbers and called her in the night. Yes! She was a girl and was about to take admission in my own college! I still had my internship year remaining in the college and I could picture a casual romance with a pretty lass bloom. I pictured pool parties, hitting the club and hitting on each other for the next 365 days.<br />
<br />
Another lesson: Whenever you think you're ready for something casual, you are actually depressed from within.<br />
<br />
So, then I began the most intense, shameless routine of flirting with her. Inept at the casual act, I actually ended up mouthing the words "I love you" to her in our first few talks. My text messages were laced with corny, cheesy innuendos. She was unnaturally complying with all my terms and conditions. It was as if the universe was making up for something, life suddenly found a shallow purpose. I was wooing her, courting her, for what? For whom? I will never know. There was something unnatural about her response too. She was quick to reply and prompt to accept my "love" which stood on no foundations.<br />
<br />
Finally the day came, I saw her for the first time. She was there. Hiding behind her mother, shying, staring at me coyly and yes! It wasn't love at first sight. She was borderline obese, wore spectacles and didn't appear friendly at all. I seriously considered running away but I was in a bad shape emotionally and couldn't afford to break another heart. Her mother seemed sweet. Judging by her, I thought there must be some charisma brushed off to the daughter. Functional families create the best human beings. I decided to give this relationship a try and see if things could take a turn for the better and thank God I did!<br />
<br />
When you meet a stranger you've met online, there are many things going on in your mind. Firstly, the other person would be nothing like you've imagined. To top that, I was meeting the girl I had never met, yet said "I love you" to and she had reciprocated too. It doesn't get weirder than this. Actually it does. So meet someone from online, you try to put up your best face because you're trying to impress the person. Then, your expectations are slightly shattered because even if you look like Rajpal Yadav, you always expect Catherine Zeta Jones. So eventually, I began to date this girl and thus on fake foundations, laid the first brick of true love.<br />
<br />
There were still miles to go before we reached "true love" and on our way I discovered answers to many questions. In Chapter 15, I will throw some light on that journey.<br />
<br />
Bye! Much love from Daddy!!</div>
Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-20829649443221646352012-03-29T22:52:00.000-07:002012-03-29T22:56:08.562-07:00Chapter 13- A love story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, I am of the opinion that every love story needs to be told because, every such story stands out in its own glory and inspires us to never lose hope and faith in love. Here is one such story in all its glory-<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, there lived a boy, unruly and loud, fickle as a cloud. Let's call him Prince henceforth. There also lived a girl- cute as a button, quiet but jolly, she hardly had any folly. She was a princess. The boy was a romantic at heart but he hid that side of his under an overtly chauvinistic veil; he hung out with guys and boys strictly, never thought that girls are worthy of friendship, spoke lowly of them and revelled in the glory of boyhood.<br />
<br />
The girl came from a place where "romantic relationships" were unheard of, almost like a taboo. She did have a wild streak but she just didn't know it yet. She considered herself never anything above ordinary and never did she feel the need of being modest because modesty is to conceal your aura so that everyone shines in the same bright light but, she was quite unaware of her own aura.<br />
<br />
The meet cute was not so very dramatic. The guy although was such a "boy" but, he was a romantic at heart, so much so that he fell for every cute face out there. He could imagine a cute girl and fall in love with her- such strong was his love for love. Is this trait worthy of being called a "romantic"? I leave that decision to you. So he saw the girl one day, she was his college junior. He saw her again and started noticing the nuances of her eyes, smile, hair. Everything is beautiful if you observe closely. God is a sculpture and he gives much attention to detail. The beholder has to look for them, that's all. Then, he sent her a request on facebook- an online tool which has made life easier for many tools. The friendship request was promptly accepted and thus began a small spark. Their first conversation led to the next one and so on, until one day when they knew each other well enough to pass smiles and make small talk in public. This led to an epiphany that their personalities were like lock and key, they fit together, suited each other. They clicked together.<br />
<br />
Now you may feel that clicking together is good thing. Well, Not necessarily. It means that they are good as friends, equals, companions but can that feeling metamorphose into the feeling where you cannot stay apart for even a minute, when you have butterflies in the stomach when you meet the other, when your whole life revolves around the happiness of the other viz., the feeling called love?<br />
<br />
Turns out that our Prince shared great chemistry with the Princess not because of the chemistry, but because he was smitten by her and thus, everything she did was adorable to him. Now this was the first good thing that happened in this story which appeared to be drifting wayward thus far.<br />
<br />
At one of their hanging-out sessions "as friends", prince professed his love to the princess. Princess had never seen this coming, she would have never known this feeling, she never considered these feelings legit, and coming from the prince, it seemed all the more strange to her. She hadn't given it a single thought, ever. She borrowed some time.<br />
<br />
That night, prince called her. They laughed about how he will be a good boyfriend once they get together and how much he loves her. Usually when such a thing happens in a friendship, it ruins the relation, the two people drift apart to make room to accommodate "love" between themselves. But this was not the case between these two. Their chemistry seemed to be indestructible. This struck the princess and acting on sheer instinct, she said "yes" just to experience whether the prince was as good a boyfriend as he claimed to be.<br />
<br />
Turns out, prince was none of those things he claimed to be. He stayed the same ol' friend and did the same ol' silly things. Princess was not disappointed to say the least. She was happy. It was like nothing had changed, just that there was a different name for the amazing relation that they shared. Slowly, over time, she fell in love with him.<br />
<br />
Love is not something that happens all of a sudden, it's not what you share with your girlfriend you just met; it is what you share with your wife after 20 years of marriage. All you need to do is find someone who cares enough to take the risk and leave the rest to love.<br />
<br />
Cheers!</div>
<div>
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<br />I gave you chances,<br />I dropped you hints.<br />You looked through me,<br />from pink glass tints.<br /><br />You ran me over,<br />and killed my thirst.<br />I was radiant and jolly,<br />like an atom bomb burst.<br /><br />I feigned happiness,<br />which is hardest to feign.<br />You were the nursing bottle,<br />and I had to wean.<br /><br />I cried, got over you,<br />moved on, bought a life.<br />Tired, spent my soul,<br />through this endless strife.</div>Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-49392694024367178482012-02-02T21:45:00.000-08:002012-02-02T21:45:27.102-08:00Why to stay single on Valentine's Day!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Now that I am in a full-fledged relationship (more on that later) and the V-day is just round the corner, I think I miss being single on cupid's favourite date and this is not about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, trust me.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR3vb63Qe6M2j4LGKgNi6hDCmQCyMlsjQ5t4WmGhOjBiX1JC17FL5XcB_X8kMdxB0gJX5_EcEqEQ28lEbe1clnvP5MFk4XAGKSX_wlc0fLGdZp_GNBaawDdJ4w8BFXl2cdnrqKpv3fRKW/s1600/valentines_day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMR3vb63Qe6M2j4LGKgNi6hDCmQCyMlsjQ5t4WmGhOjBiX1JC17FL5XcB_X8kMdxB0gJX5_EcEqEQ28lEbe1clnvP5MFk4XAGKSX_wlc0fLGdZp_GNBaawDdJ4w8BFXl2cdnrqKpv3fRKW/s320/valentines_day.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 1: The immense hype</b>.<br />
"What are you gifting her this Valentine's?", "Hey! What plans for Valentine's?" The plannings and conspiracies begin a month ahead. It's sort of fun and challenging when you're trying to woo her but, not so much when it is something expected out of you, more than something that you want to do. Imagine her friends saying "Hawww! He didn't take you to Abcd place on V-day eve? Me and my other went there! And it was awesome! Omg omg omg! I loved it!!" and her going all mad with red raging fury over your inability to match some multi- millionaire business tycoon's son's histrionics!<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 2: The embarrassment.</b><br />
If you are not much into PDA, all those moments when you're in the public eye can be very unnerving. Right from your entry to an Archie's Gift Gallery to the flower shop, to the time you spend outside waiting for with a bunch of roses in your hands; you are targeted by giggly girls, frowning neighbours, conniving friends- all giving you those strange looks. It's like they just read your personal diary.<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 3: Western Culture!! Haye! Haye!</b><br />
Now who wants to get his face smeared with black grease and made to sit on a donkey? Not me! We live in a country of Shiv Sena., Shri Ram Sene, Bajrang Dal et al who consider it their duty to get rid of us maggots from the society. How about we shift the V-day to 15th or 16th Feb and fool 'em fools!!? Eh? Eh?<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 4: The expectations.</b><br />
If love is a degree course, V-day, anniversaries, birthdays are like university exams. If you don't make her feel like a princess on the day, a lot of your future arguments will end with her saying "You didn't... blah blah blah... even on Valentine's day!" If you're in a no frills relationship, gear up for some frills! Valentine's day attaches frills to everyone's lives!<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 5: The Accelerator!</b><br />
If you've been taking it slow and nice, and things have been good so far, and you've been going just the right speed; V-day shifts the gear to the topmost and hits top speed in your relationship car. Don't fret if she starts saying things like "When we get married...", "What names have you thought for our future kids?", "What names have you thought for our future grandkids?" and stuff like that. It's the phenomenon of V-day hitting the relationship accelerator. Applying brakes may result in fatal jerks and even an ugly crash! Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<b>Reason 6: The Romance Of Singlehood!</b><br />
Valentine's Day means so much to the in-love couples, but it also means a lot to the <i>singles ready to mingles</i>. It's about hope, it's about the endless search for true love. Having a girlfriend puts an end to that great search and simultaneously to all the romance associated with that search. Congratulations, you can no longer go up to that lonesome female from across the hall, and be all nervous, and ask her for a dance. Instead, you get to buy cards, teddy bears, roses and other gooey things and carry them around town until you deliver them to a certain someone who is expecting them from you.<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Reason 7: Money!</b><br />
Crack that piggy bank open and waste that money because that's how cupid rolls!<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<b>Reason 8: For those of you who want to break-up!</b><br />
Ok, it has not been going as you had dreamed and expected in your relationship. You want to break up and say good-bye but V-day with itself brings a three month curfew period during which, you can't even think of breaking up and here's why you have to put up with her for three more months-<br />
<br />
<u><i>One and a half month before V-day</i></u>- She is all excited with her plans and is asking you for suggestions. Telling her that you don't want her around anymore is like stabbing a teddy bear.<br />
<br />
<u><i>On the V-day</i></u>- Oh! Don't you dare think of doing that on the most special day of them all, you sick-o! Just survive the day somehow!<br />
<br />
<u><i>One and half month after V-day</i></u>- You can't dump her right after V-day otherwise it'd feel like you've been pitying her all along. So the month of Feb is a no-no. And as you survive February, you realise that she isn't that bad and you should give your relationship another chance. It's only till the end of March that you re-realise why you wanted to break-up with her. Don't do it on April 1st though, she won't take you seriously at first, which will make it more brutal.<br />
<br />
Love and Peace!<br />
<br />
And yeah, happy Valentine's Day!!</div>Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0Gwalior, Madhya Pradesh, India26.2182871 78.182830826.161307100000002 78.1038668 26.2752671 78.2617948tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-82083498208758366222012-01-19T02:32:00.000-08:002012-01-19T02:32:38.144-08:00How to screw up a relationship!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kids, dating isn't easy. It isn't a bed of roses. It's a bed of burning dead bodies, being tortured with hellfire which is covered by petals of roses. You find that out, only when you step on it. Once you step on it, it's very difficult to step back. Here I present to you a few secret ways to help you do that. Use them responsibly, ok?<br />
<br />
<b>1. Gorilla Wars!</b><br />
When you're in a relationship, you fight. You fight 'cause your beau called your mother ugly and you fight 'cause you think he thinks you think that he thinks you're fat! These fights are customary and do not mar the status of your relationship by more than 1%. If you really want to do some real damage, throw a bombshell without any reason! You can't imagine how much damage a "I don't think things are working anymore" text on a fine sunday morning can cause. We don't have the numbers, so defeat the enemy by surprise attacks! Gorilla war!!<br />
<br />
<b>2. Missiles!</b><br />
Most of the fights are reconciled when you meet your other and discuss them. But there will be times when one of you would be out of station, away for some reason. That's your time, pick a fight. Pick a stupid reason. When someone is with his or her family after a loong time, they program themselves to be happy. A text like- "I think you're a lying son of a bitch! You didn't remove that whore from your facebook even when she continuously hit on you!" can work wonders!<br />
<br />
<b>3. Repetition!</b><br />
Say "I love you jana" via texts every two hours in a day and four times before sleeping. Ask "asleep?" after 15 minutes of them texting you- "Very tired, going to sleep.".<br />
<br />
And here's the master stroke, when in a fight- mention how you say "I love you" gazillion times a day and they fail to acknowledge your love.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Make fun of everything they do.</b><br />
And if they are playful and take this in their stride, apologize viciously until they realize that they have been wronged!<br />
<br />
<b>5. The obvious stuff</b><br />
Of course, you should be over-possessive, loud, bitchy and critical of their personality and family and family members' personalities. I mean that's a given.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Self-centered talk!</b><br />
Let him finish a long speech on how his father has mistreated him all his life and how he wants to grow up and become a better human being and follow that up with "Am I looking fat in this dress jana?"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrGM35bPDXykSvKUllrdmpVFaVXcmp0-yU2OYbZKH8OQpBi1JRgDOCTCmyIMblCODs_48m7167Tl4XZyTilBoMyBMYTrPKa2LCaIjgLTubkdy0mepXwdU9Q4l4bu6Ex60WYTvEh4v7hUMW/s1600/AAAA.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrGM35bPDXykSvKUllrdmpVFaVXcmp0-yU2OYbZKH8OQpBi1JRgDOCTCmyIMblCODs_48m7167Tl4XZyTilBoMyBMYTrPKa2LCaIjgLTubkdy0mepXwdU9Q4l4bu6Ex60WYTvEh4v7hUMW/s320/AAAA.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Pure break-up guaranteed!</div>Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-42400062449193015822011-08-11T00:01:00.000-07:002011-08-14T10:27:36.805-07:00Chapter 12: Girl 4- The Murder of A HeartSo thus far the lesson learnt is- flirting is the most dangerous double edged sword invented by mankind. You meet a great gal, start flirting right away, the worst thing that can happen to you is- love! So if you meet a great girl who loves you a lot, don't think that your love is all that she needs and her love is all that you need. You two also need to be on the same page about a lot of things. The biggest bullshit that the world of dating has been putting up with is "opposites attract". No, they don't.
<br />
<br />If you aren't attracted to her in a way that would make you to climb down a valley of snakes just to get her a flower, let her go! Let her find her prince which she eventually will. Till the day you don't let her go, you will be the ogre who holds her in his cage. And the day you let her go, you'd be the bastard who left her for no reason. So, moral of the story... if you hit the switch and the lights are not on, leave the room. Don't wait for the magic, it either is, or it isn't.
<br />
<br />Now this takes us to a dilemma! Compare Girl 3 and 4 and you'll be taken to a conundrum. Girl 3 was a classic case of delay which resulted in damage beyond repair while Girl 4 was a case of damage tough to repair due to lack of delay!Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-19434846904860981952011-07-15T23:26:00.000-07:002011-07-30T05:40:20.560-07:00Chapter 11: Say hello to Girl 4Would the tortoise narrate to its kids how it lost to a rabbit in the race? Would the villain of a masala bollywood thriller tell his kids where he went wrong? In my case, the answer is "yes". The whole point of this blog is to make you learn from my mistakes in an entertaining manner. That brings me to Girl No. 04.<br /><br />It was the stuff fairy tales are made of, sans the magic. It had promises, intimacy, love (?), caring for each other; what it didn't have was the typical madness that characterizes a love story. It did have madness alright, it was a mad mad relationship, but more like the tacky madness that makes your stomach churn, certainly not the one that makes you go awww.<br /><br />How I met her? Well, college function, working together, chit-chatting, exchange of mobile numbers, harmless flirting, harmful flirting and all hell broke loose. I deny it tooth to nail but the truth is that it is a clear-cut case of the dreaded phenomenon called "rebound"!! On my part, it started with a simple "what-if?" What if I can't love anyone anymore? What if I wouldn't be able to love my own wife? What if the best part of my life is over? What if Girl 3 falls in love with someone else? They get married, have kids?<br /><br />On Girl 4's part, the story started with another "What if"? What if I was destined to meet this guy and spend my whole life with him happily ever after? Yikes!<br /><br />She loved me, she was jealous of my female friends, she cried for me, she took me very seriously. And I? I was scared!<br /><br />TO BE CONTINUEDAbhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-11421787976242982892011-02-05T05:17:00.000-08:002011-02-05T06:16:21.427-08:00Chapter 10: Where I went wrong.Kids, in every relationship, there is always a point which is like a flag pole with a skull and two crossed bones. A point beyond redemption. This flag is visible from a very far far distance but, some people ignore it; well they rather choose to ignore it. The girl no. 2 I told you about? Remember her?<br /><br />Well, turns out there was another side of the story. I described how she came on to me and how she slapped my back until my vertebra broke but I never described the darker side of that story. Well, that story was waiting to be told, and here it goes-<br /><br />Before that train journey ever happened, before we became friends, she had a relationship. That night when she cried in front of me, she didn't mean to be that damsel, she meant to cry and only to cry. She had this abusive boyfriend who took liberties on her, verbally. Not very cool. It was an easy choice in my head, ditch the guy, stop talking to him, change your phone number, avoid him. Wasn't so easy for her. For the reason I never understood and for the reason I don't have a girlfriend yet. It was love. Unadulterated love.<br /><br />When I was with her, I was rushing things. I wanted her to do away with this boyfriend and elope with me to a fairytale life. She wanted to sort it out. I never really respected her past.<br /><br />Ok, before this turns into a weepy confession of sorts, let's rush things (old habits die hard) fast forward to the present day:-<br /><br />We were friends who never talked until this January when we exchanged numbers again and got talking. We still are chalk and cheese but boy! Chalk and cheese can talk! She is in a happy relationship currently and I sort of interviewed her on what went wrong with my relationship with her... so, here is, for the first time, someone guest authoring my blog and it has to be the kindest, sweetest, craziest, a little hyper and the only ex-girlfriend I ever had. She talked and I took notes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Excerpts<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span>-<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"You need a heart to love someone, not your brain. Let your heart work the magic for you. You will surely find someone. It's not important how you start it; it's not important how you meet her! It's important how you maintain it."<br /><br />"Dear, it's a tough job to maintain a relationship. It takes effort. A little bit of compromise, faith, trust and understanding... can work wonders. Never leave the important things unsaid. Basic mistrust arises from lack of communication. We say all kinds of stuff but leave the important one unsaid."<br /><br />"Be careful with your words. Don't use words that you don't like for yourself. Words are important."<br /><br />"We all are insecure. We all are afraid that we will lose our loved ones at some point of time. All you need to do is be patient. Give her some space, some air to breathe. Don't ever make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Understanding is the key.</span>"<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">When you love someone, love her 100%. Don't expect to be loved the way you love her. Love her in your unique way and be loved in her unique way.</span>"<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">Breaking up is not the solution to any problem. Sit down and sort it out. You tend to rush everything! Time can do magic. Time is the key. Over time, all relations go stronger.</span>"<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">Then there are those small things which you have to discover with your partner. They are unique to every relation.</span>"<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />On being asked- How do I know that I really love this girl and this is not attraction?</span><br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">Attraction may diminish over a day to even few months. Love remains forever. Attraction fades when you see someone better than the earlier. But when you start reading someone's heart, your heart goes and attaches itself to that person's heart</span>."<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">I've seen my mother and father fight, since then I decided I will never allow my brain to work in a relationship, I will go with my heart, wherever it takes me. Even if I am wrong at times. It's good to be wrong sometimes. It makes you happier.</span>"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">On being asked whether she believed in soul-mates..</span><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">No, but I want to be with [name of her boyfriend] forever</span>"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where do you think I went wrong when I was with you?</span><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">You should never try to change the person you are with. Someone who likes you, tries hard to be liked by you. Compliments are good but, what hurts is when you try to change her. And give her time and space.</span>"<br /><br /><br /><br />*sigh*<br />So there it was!<br />What do you think?Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-8859214919810835762010-12-30T06:22:00.000-08:002010-12-30T07:26:20.320-08:00Chapter 9: How to forget...Kids, it's 30th of December 2010. December is always associated with end of the year, it symbolizes happy endings for most of us. Christmas, New year- it's all about moving on with new hope and new dreams. December is like the last act of the play where things begin to make sense and the system seems to justify itself. It's a man-made clock, where January is supposed to work as a "Refresh" button of sorts.<br /><br />Well, I do believe that nothing changes unless you make it change but these occasions where the mind is conditioned to start afresh can speed up the process. Birthdays are also examples of such occasions where you can rewind and reflect on the past. My point is- If you really want to get over someone, try to stay busy on their birthday and try not to include them in celebrations of such kind.<br /><br />Festivals, holidays, carnivals are occasions when the little memory chip in your brain works overtime; it records each and every minute detail of people and things around you. It is perhaps the little anecdote accumulator in all of us that makes us do such stuff. We view these occasions aside from a chance to have fun, as times to create memories, so that when we grow old we aren't those boring oldies who have absolutely no stories to tell!<br /><br />Another way to forget is to believe that you never really loved them. Since the concept of true love is so twisted that it gets you thinking and distracts you from the real thought of how much you love them, it works.<br /><br />Okay now that we are on it, one surefire way to forget her is to think how annoying she is. Trust me, how much ever you love her, if she is a girl, she has to be annoying.... except your mother kids! Except your mother!<br /><br />More later!Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-89895482976537772092010-11-27T06:01:00.000-08:002010-11-27T06:43:26.792-08:00Chapter 8: The BloopersKids, sometimes you wish your life was a movie and the mistakes you did were never included. Although it'd be convenient if you could sit back and check out the bloopers at the end.<br /><br />We all commit mistakes. Some of us, like your dad... actually like committing mistakes, glorify them and bask in their glory. Not to be rude, I wouldn't call them mistakes; they are the oops moments in one's life. When you discover a tunnel within a tunnel, trace it to find out that the tunnel opens at the "start" point.<br /><br />I had quite a few such tunnels in my lifetime, and here, I proudly announce that I am not ashamed of any one of them! That's right! I am ashamed of all of them! Just kidding.<br /><br />Ok, let's get started-<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Blooper 1</span>:<br />See Girl no. 2<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Blooper 2</span>:<br />There is one thing called compatibility, kids... and there is another thing called similarity. We often confuse the two terms and land up in trouble. There is a saying that "Opposites Attract" and it exists for a good reason. Being compatible means knowing and understanding each others' quirks and respecting each others' private space. Being similar means having the same quirks and not necessarily being cool about it. I have this belief that if I had a twin who was emotionally at the same level as me, I would have killed him by now.<br /><br />Well, I found this clone of mine with even more exaggerated emotional levels than mine, in a female friend of mine. This is a very simplified view of what was wrong with our friendship. Here is a list of the bloopers you shouldn't make-<br /> 1. If she doesn't listen to you even when you have that I am going to say something awesome look on your face, leave!<br /> 2. If she is in a serious relationship (read- cries at night) and you are "more than a friend", run!<br /> 3. If you only think of her when you have nothing else to do, run faster!<br /> 4. If whenever she calls, it always begins with "Can I ask you for a favour?", hang up and start running.<br /> 5. If you feel like running away, just run!<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Blooper 3</span>:<br />If you are friends with a girl, text late at nights only and only if you can survive the trauma of her "placing a light peck on your cheeks", "kissing you all over your mouth" and "cuddling up with you in the blanket". All these text message might sound sweet and cute to some distant alien in some far away planet. But, not to the person who just started texting this girl only one day before this natural calamity of a texting happened. I freaked out. I said, "uhh... no please" and "Eww... no! go away."<br /><br />Needless to say, she didn't quite like my replies.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Blooper 4</span>:<br />Kids, no matter how badly you get rejected, how badly you want to be loved, never challenge God that if He gave you someone not so good looking, one who had a voice like a thousand chalks were squeaking on a blackboard, one who grinned every time she saw you.... you'd still respect her love... because for you, love is everything. Trust me, it's not.Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-67701160514198912162010-11-08T05:42:00.000-08:002010-11-08T06:07:00.198-08:00Chapter 7: The factsKids, there is something about concrete, rock solid facts. They just refuse to move. Thoughts are powerful, no doubt; in fact- half of the reality is a construct of our thoughts and moods but, the rest half is built on facts. <br /><br />The fact that I have feelings for girl no. 3 wouldn't change, the fact that I wouldn't get attracted to someone easily now-- wouldn't change; the fact that she would never love me back-- wouldn't change. So the above are facts, these wouldn't alter based on my perceptions.<br /><br />But, perceptions do change and more importantly, people do change. I do not perceive her as I used to before; but that does not changes the person that she is and therefore my love for her remains the same.<br /><br />You might find me a little moronic if you are reading this after chapter 6 where I so vaingloriously declared that I was over her. Well, if that chapter was a story, this chapter is a lesson. And the lesson is -- never declare anything. Even to yourself. Because declaration breeds expectation and expectation creates a chance to bring you down.<br /><br />I was doing fairly well; I didn't text or call. I disconnected from her. I was unhappy without knowing it. The perception was that I had moved on but the fact was that -- my feet were stuck all this time while walking off was a delusion.<br /><br />I see her sad the other day and my wax heart melts to pure water. The urge to soak up all her sorrow has become second nature to me. I felt like asking what she wanted and fulfilling all her wishes right away... and to my sorrow she asked for my happiness. I gave it away. She wanted me to act normal and I complied. Giving away my happiness made me happier than ever; I knew this was short-lived but, it felt right.<br /><br />A few days later... the wick burns away and the bomb explodes. It was evident that she took more Abhyudaya than needed for her purpose, it wasn't her fault... I was more than happy to give myself away but, the fact remained that I can't give her what she wants and she can't give me what I want.<br /><br /><br />I have already tried the surgical excision route, now I shall try the other way. Graft the tissue over the host until the host rejects the tissue. Clearly, she is not cut out for me and I know it; the only thing that hurts me is my love. <br /><br />Here I am subjecting myself to an experiment which can debilitate me for life. I will put myself close to her until I realize that I don't love her anymore. <br /><br />Kids, please realize that such experiments need divine intervention to succeed and don't try this yourself unless you must!<br /><br />I will be back with the results..Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-33813086885660589762010-07-23T12:44:00.000-07:002010-07-23T14:48:15.994-07:00Chapter 6: The Eye Opening Ceremony! Girl No. 3Ok, so where were we kids? Yes, the embarrassing story of how I met your mother. Unrequited love makes a loser out of the biggest of players. It knocks you over before you know what hit you. It's like willingly choosing to go through the wrong path, it's like descending down the ladder knowing that once you hit the bottom, the ladder will be gone.<br /><br />Next comes the phase I wish never comes in any of your lives. The phase of lunacy. You are confused. Do not know whether to chase or to let go; whether to wait and watch or run and leave; whether to burn and die or to put the fire off! It's when you are most confused. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Romantic films</span> take the job of misguiding you and how! The hero gets the girl in the end. She loves some other dude but our dude's love is pure. He helps her find the other dude's love. She realizes that our dude is the right dude for her. She ditches the wrong dude and picks the right dude. In all the movies, all the time without fail! Hindi films are rife with girls running from mandaps, last minute airport decisions and other stuff. <br /><br />All this plays with your mind. You think it will happen to you without realizing how tight the security is in real airports and how a bride can't run away from real wedding because of the crowd of chacha-chachi, mausa-mausi, mama- mami, bhaiya- bhabhi surrounding her! <br /><br />Love makes you restless. You throw the whole deck in the game thinking that at least one card will fall right but, this is where you go wrong. It's not a game, kids. You don't have to be a good player here. You just have to be the right player. So, while following the "heart" you enter a "club" where you unlearn how to call a "spade" a "spade" and start running after fake "diamonds". OK, enough of the wordplay, what I mean to say is that hope and faith are good in moderation. Too much faith in a happy ending blinds you; you can't see that what is happy ending for you would be sad ending for someone else... and vice versa.<br /><br />Coming back to the story... I tell her I thought I loved her... in one of our train journeys. She has the whole night to think over it (she did say NO the very next second) and being the defensive player that I am, I myself told her not to take me seriously. The feeling of "Not wanting to come on too strong" could easily be confused with the feeling of "not caring about her yes or no". Anyway, in the morning, she sneezes. I say, "When did you catch cold?" She replies- "Abhi hua hai". I hear- "I love you too *blush* *blush*" I am about to faint. I ask again- "Beg your pardon?" (Take notes kids, in real love, you never feel the need to confirm the statements.)<br /><br />And she restates what she said and I am more disappointed than Vinod Kambli after India's world cup loss in 1996. Anyway, over the next few months, I ask the question in one way or the other. I am slowly turning into a pillow-wetting, Devdas look-alike who would give an arm for a "yes". All the 80's bollywood where the hero sips poison, threatens to jump off tall buildings comes to the fore now. That's when I realize, I was exploring new horizons of lameness. Rejection finally dawns on me. Those were the days when you really didn't want to be around or near me. I was boring, dull, rejected, dejected and boring, dull, rejected, dejected and boring, dull etc etc...<br /><br />I start with my phase of lunacy; start isolating myself from her partly because I think it will make her realize my value and also partly because I, deep down, knew that being away from her is the only thing that'd fetch me my sanity back! I could feel something breaking inside me. It hurt initially but, I knew I was going uphill with the pain and after reaching the peak, the only way possible would be downhill!<br /><br />Meanwhile, she made new "best friends" and started a new story of how she met her kids' father etcetera. She did keep popping in now and then and I knew this thing won't end when I want it to end.<br /><br />But, by then, it had dawned upon me that if you want to kill a friendship, you don't have to stab it mercilessly, just leave it alone and it will rot. The friendship that survives the "rot test", has to be taken through the test of "indifference". That is sure to murder even the closest of bonds. Yes, kids... I had to be cruel because sometimes, it is the right thing to do. Once you create a dragon which breathes fire, it is better to chop off its head once and for all; than to put it to sleep every night singing sweet lullabies.<br /><br />So, this was how... I survived the wreck a.k.a. girl no. 3.Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-45150959210803599512010-07-19T12:36:00.000-07:002010-07-19T14:33:46.694-07:00Chapter: 0 Meet Cute. This one is not a love story!<span style="font-style:italic;">This one is a break from the ongoing series. Here I won't be talking about the girl but the <span style="font-weight:bold;">person</span> (who of course is a girl). Read on, you will see! The ongoing series about the girl no. 3 will resume shortly after this.<br /></span><br />There is a certain prejudice attached to meeting people online. I am not here to address the taboo but to tell a tale that'd let you know how awesome it is to know someone nice whether online or offline.<br /><br />Here's a little preface before I take you to the "meet cute"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Preface</span><br />I keep dropping this girl a line almost every day as you know I have this thing for wise eyes... and boy does she have a wise pair of eyes or what! It's not the kajal, not the eyeliner, I know wise eyes when I see them and she had got them! Ok... so I drop her lines and she replies. Mostly about the movies she likes, the books she reads. I do my homework on her, rent the movies, read the book reviews (reading the whole book is too much to ask for, frankly); listen to her favourite songs and we start talking. Now, things take the familiar course of direction. We become friends! It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I had to withdraw my fishing rod because I liked the fish to remain in the pond. Now that might be the worst metaphor to explain what happened but, yes, my attraction transformed into admiration and we became good friends.<br /><br />Now, let's come to our first face to face meeting-<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Meet Cute</span><br /><br />I land in Bhopal. We plan a meet up and then things go awry. What can I say? It has happened to me before. But I am hopelessly in love with the city. So, I set out on foot to explore Bhopal and keep sharing my every little excitement with her through text messages. It turned out that each one of the umpteen messages I sent to her, delivered at least six times to her due to some network problem. I thought she'd have probably started hating me by then, but the very next day, she took time out to meet me. Brave girl I must say!<br /><br />So, finally the text lands in my cell "I am leaving home, let's meet up at Chinar park". "Oh! Chinar park? That's like a few minutes walk from my place" I thought. Turns out that few minutes meant ten long minutes precisely; ten minutes which are almost long enough to lull a girl into believing that she has been stood up! Anyway, I walked, maybe a little slow because I didn't want to arrive all sweaty, smelly and panting on our first meet. It was a humid afternoon. I walked thinking of a cool opening line. "Wassup" sounds retarded, "Hi" is too stupid, "Hello" is lame. I finally finalized on "Jai Maharashtra". So, finally I reach the gates of the venue and I see a girl, with her back turned, sitting on her scooty. Mumbling "jai maharashtra" to myself, I proceed toward her. We all have our own faces, personalities and a peculiar air around us. To talk to someone for the first time, one has to break the ice first. Blame it on the heat of that sunny afternoon but, there was no ice! My "jai maharashtra" was now a tool that I didn't even need now. I used it anyway. <br /><br />I walk up to her, she turns around and there she was! She extends a hand, and starts the conversation with the mention of a man who passed a comment on her a while ago. As expected from her, she is sporty about it. I struggle to see the wise eyes. They are there somewhere under the hair. I hand her the toon book I had made for her and she asks whether I use pencil first or directly draw on paper. I am forced to praise myself. Of course, directly with pens, I am awesome like that! As we walk across the park, make small talks, I am easily put to ease. She is someone before whom you can easily lower your guard because you know you are way out of harm's way. I hand her another gift that I had brought for her, but I really don't like hearing "thank you" so, I say you don't need to thank me because I made this one to impress the girl sitting beside me in the train. This was the time I realized I am turning into a compulsive liar. Anyway, the purpose was served, no thank-yous, you-are-so-sweets came my way!<br /><br />The scorch in the sun drove us out of the park, we decide to go somewhere else and so we take off. She hands me the keys of her scooty. Before we take off, she turned into osama-bin-laden with that famous scarf/dupatta which turns prettiest of pretty lasses into terrorist-like things. But, I guess, it is the ultimate shield against invasion of female privacy and the strongest blocker of unsolicited male attention. <br /><br />We reached Bitton market, I suggested CCD, as we were on our way, I did the deadliest mistake in the book. I looked at another girl, a pretty lass and said "God bless you" to my friend for bringing me there. Had it been a date, I deserved to be ditched right there but, as was reinforced, it was something a lot more natural than a date, everything was cool. I guess that's why you fall in love but always rise in friendship! We chose the same place from where I had seen the girl coming out, picked a place and sat with one of the most difficult-to-eat but delicious-to-taste delicacies. A mud pie. I am bad with food. I struggle while eating, the thought of someone looking at me when I have my mouth full wakes me up at nights! (Ok, that was a bit of exaggeration) But, here I was okay with pie crumbs ricocheting out of my plate because the other side of the table didn't show any lack of recklessness either! We both attacked the pie recklessly and found out the simple joy of it! <br /><br />Wisdom makes life easy and as my mind predicted long ago, being with her was easy. On the road, an autorickshaw zoomed past us, spraying water from a pothole on us. I am used to loud shrieks and insane reactions on such instances; I prepared my heart for the mourning of the spoilage of the dress but, all I got was a momentary "eww" and back to normal! She is the last hope for mankind I thought to myself. My heart smiled. <br /><br />Next on the list was a place up the hill from where the horizons of a large water reservoir were visible. Sounds serene, eh? Not quite in the scorching heat!! Anyway, Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was a small stroll, and a turn back. It was time for me to be dropped back from where I was picked up. All through our journey back, the thought that we might not meet for a very long time never crossed my mind... some people are so good that, your brain almost automatically switches to denial mode. I somehow thought I was gonna meet her again tomorrow and started hopping back to my place.<br /><br />"Bye" she said with that hand extended again; that hand made me realize that the day was over! The sun was about to set but the sunshine didn't fade that day!<br /><br />:-)<br /><br />Hope to meet you again soon!Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-28359884913362762192010-07-04T22:30:00.000-07:002010-07-04T23:18:41.290-07:00Chapter 5- Girl No. 3 The Muse Begins....What's the word for loss of all your social abilities, unlearning of all your charming habits and desperation to please someone so bad that you stop to be the person you were?<br /><br />That's right, kids. It's called one-sided, unrequited love. The biggest problem with one sided love is that it blinds you. You see the signs when there are none. You start deciphering language and symbols as they sound convenient to you. Love, which is supposed to come easy and charmingly, becomes tricky and difficult because of all the coding and uncoding that needs to be done. When she says she "luvs" you, it is hard not to believe that she is not in love with you. She just loves you as she loves her two-wheeler or her comb or her ear bud or etc etc.<br /><br />So, there I was. Standing alone, with all these dreams. My situation was a shrink's nightmare because, my cognition was perfectly alright. The signs were there. Sleepless nights, late night phone calls equally from both parties, it is hard to say what was missing kids. I guess, what *was* missing is probably what they call "true love". She didn't enjoy my writings, she didn't listen to my thoughts... well, nobody does but, the most clear sign of love is knowing the person. While I claim of knowing her, I don't think she has ever met the real me. The real me would never talk to her for more than 5 minutes but, this stupid-me went on and on yakking and blabbing away God-knows-what-crap day and night with her non-stop... on the roof, in the corridor, in my room, under the bed, inside the cupboard, circling the badminton court, near the tree, in my dreams... I carried her everywhere.<br /><br />One picture that I remember clearly is of her crying face. That was the first time I saw her crying. Cheeks rosy red, a hint of rose on the tip of her nose. Kajal smudged for the gothic look... it was our physiology viva exam. I remember her face and torn pieces of dove feathers in the yard. I connect the two sights so seamlessly in my mind that both come to mind when I remember the picture. My heart bled that day... I was raging mad at the professor unless I heard the sound of her chuckle. She was back to normal. That day should have been the dawn of realization that I was over-reacting... my feelings were a bit dramatized but it wasn't.<br /><br />Another memory that I hold fondly is of our first date. Ok, it was just a hang out for her and a date for me. Cloud nine seemed so distantly far below from where I was standing. It was the first and last time we went out together and shame on me, the girl asked me out and the girl paid the bill too! She spoonfed me from her cup of icecream, which set my heart galloping, later I realized she did it as a habit and there was no big deal in that! For her!<br /><br />Now kids, this part is a little bit hazy as she claims it never happened while I remember that it clearly happened and made me realize that she was into me. My interpretation is that she was initially into me but when she realized that I was into her she went out of me. Maybe I scared her away like Ted Mosby! Or Maybe what I am going to narrate never happened! Ok, We were discussing crushes when the topic came to the most awesome of them all- "Why in the world does no girl have a crush on me! The Legendary Abhyudaya!?" She hesitantly named a girl who did have a shadow of a crush on me and then quipped, "Guess who else had a crush on you?" With my fingers, toes, appendix crossed, I asked- "Who?" She blushed (I am lying, you really can't tell... it was a telephonic conversation) and said- "Me". I did my happy dance and then coming to my senses asked- "Now everything is fine, right? Because, it's a bed idea you know." (GOD DAMN! IT) and she replied "Oh yea yea, it was just a passing crush, it ended long back!"<br /><br />So... basically... I had it screwed up since the beginning!Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-48885516499147124882010-06-29T05:54:00.000-07:002010-06-29T06:25:34.229-07:00Chapter No. 4: The most difficult one so far. (Meeting Girl No. 3)Ok, it's about time I introduced you to girl no. 3, kids. This is where the real story starts. We are standing right at the hole in Titanic now. It's a long story so, sit back...<br /><br />It all began in a party. If I knew things would take this course, I would have got one of my toes chopped instead of going to this party. Alright, it was one of my friends' birthday and it was a dance party in the basement of a hotel. It was the month of April and sweaters weren't exactly out of the trunks. Sweat is one of the most important ingredients of dance parties. It connects humans. If you are not sweating that means you are not dancing and if you are not dancing... it means you are not having fun in the party so, basically it means you are not enjoying the company you're in and you are a misfit.<br /><br />I was fresh from the break-up from girl no.2 and she was fresh from her own little break-up. If I had this back-slapping, hell-raising girlfriend, her boyfriend was one of the most eccentric, coming-close-to-MJ kind of a boy. We did see each other daily in class but, that was the day we really saw each other. It happened so that I, suffocated in the cigarette smoke, went out to get some fresh air at exactly the same time as her... and there we were! Two out-of-love, out-of-luck people. I don't exactly remember our first conversation but we clicked. We sat by the pool-side, in the parking lot... we chatted and chatted and chatted.<br /><br />A little preface, the psychopath she was dating happened to be one of my friends. Don't ask me why. I liked eccentricities to the point that they turned amorous. Slowly, his eccentricity outgrew his morality and I grew out of his friendship. But, when we were friends, he had shared with me his joy when she had confessed her feelings for the first time with him. He danced around. Jumped with joy... which was actually scary but anyway! And I had seen him develop dark circles talking day and night to her. I had seen her refrain from social gatherings her boyfriend was ousted from, which basically meant each and every birthday party.<br /><br />So, with that history, let's come back to the present scenario. It was a magical night. Starry sky, two strangers, similar stories, slight attraction... phew!<br /><br />So, that night, SHE CALLED! I have never been called, kids. I mean I have been called but, never immediately after you have met the person and have said your good-byes, with nothing important to say. It was quite romantic for me, kids. There was romance with girl no. 1 and 2, no doubt but, it was the first time life was romancing me! I was happy. I can only guess that from her side it was the beginning of a small little friendship. She was looking for a nice friend and I was nice. One thing I was not... was friend!Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-80343295698035738782010-05-23T23:36:00.000-07:002010-05-24T00:43:50.126-07:00Chapter 3: Girl No. 2<span style="font-weight:bold;">Kids</span>, love is like pizza. It is best when enjoyed alone with the right kind of ingredients, custom-made and most importantly, you should not rush it! Well, pizza can be enjoyed with friends pouncing on their share, speeding up the swallowing part to have more but, you know.... I couldn't think of a better example.<br /><br />Keeping aside all the crushes I fostered that slowly wilted to their fate, my first and only real romance awaited me in my first year of college. It was all things great because it was the first and it had a doomed fate because if I was chalk, she was cheese. That too, not the kind of cheese that'd make my pizza crust! That makes this chapter more of an embarrassment than a story, I am writing it down just for documentation's sake.<br /><br /><br />I won't delve into the whole "who came onto whom" saga because that's pointless and I'd be a total jerk if I told everyone that SHE totally came onto me during our long train journey together for 36 hours! Well, she cried before sleeping that night and you know me, can't see a girl cry. Little I knew that some girls <span style="font-style:italic;">LIKE</span> to cry and they actually <span style="font-style:italic;">LIKE</span> jerks who make them cry every night. It's like "Baby, have you wept your eyes out tonight?" "No?" "Then let me call you names and teach you the meanest and rudest curse words of our times, that'd prove how much I love you..."<br /><br />The drama as I later learned was a part of her daily routine. Coming to the erstwhile scenario, I took her as a damsel in distress and made her smile, laugh and tried to be her prince charming. The charm was disarmed and the prince winced once he realized what he was doing. He was actually playing part of an ad-hoc boyfriend until the real boyfriend got jealous and stopped acting up.<br /><br />For every trifle reason, she used to slap my shoulder, back, head (sometimes) and ass (ok, that was once and she said sorry for that). I found it cute for a while, like a way to touch me, to connect, until my joints started hurting and I felt the need of a shield when I was with her. I am sure though, her tight slaps would have<br />burrowed holes through any metal shield.<br /><br />And... there was something wrong with her mannerisms. If she was telling you something, it would seem like she was on stage doing a theatrical and was supposed to be loud and clear for the audience to hear. It was annoying.<br /><br />She had tales about how guys kept ogling at her and how she thinks everyone ogles at her. Even her homepage read "go ogle" instead of "google". Ok, now that was a bad one. The point is, she was self obsessed basically.<br /><br />Point to be noted here is that I realized all these follies in her character once it dawned upon me that she was still in love with her ex and actually liked the psychosis associated with their relation.<br /><br />One day, I withdrew my contention very politely, claiming that we will always be friends (I have not called her till now and it's been 3 years)... but we are still on talking terms.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lesson one</span>.<br />Every girl that flirts with you, doesn't see a future with you. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lesson two.</span><br />It's not necessary to reciprocate the feelings of someone if you don't feel the same way... the playground is alluring, but it doesn't feel good when you are running around the ground in your knickers and realize that the audience is laughing at you instead of clapping. Play only when it's due.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lesson three.</span><br />No matter how awkward your break-up is and no matter how awful your partner was, you can always be friends with your ex if you can totally get her out of your head.<br /><br />Kids, your dad isn't a psycho-socially healthy being either. I would dedicate one chapter on my own follies. But, until then...<br /><br />More later.Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-41227891747529805282010-05-21T06:11:00.000-07:002010-05-21T06:36:35.295-07:00Chapter 2: Girl no. 1Kids, love is a strange commodity. In a way it's like money. If you earn it easily, it'll fade easily.<br /><br />Girl no. 1 and I met online. I know in a way, that's lame. It was like a bliss. We thought alike, I made her laugh her guts out, she got all my jokes, in a way, she can be held responsible for my pathetic sense of humour. She encouraged even the most cheesiest of my jokes that I was slowly moulded into a PJ master. I am still recovering for that.<br /><br />Jokes apart, I enjoyed all our telephonic late night conversations. She brought the best out of me. She gave my inner voice a ... well, voice. Somehow I realised the value of telling someone what you think. It helps you flesh out your own ideas and sometimes, midway in the narration, you realise how insipid your ideas are.<br /><br />We got along well, I thought this was it. I fell for her. Turns out, all good things come with a "conditions apply" tag. Here, the case was that... uh... she liked someone else and she had so many more options. I wrapped my feelings with guilt and shoved them to some corner of my heart. A girl who is genuinely, not at all interested in you... is a huge turn off. Girls should take note, never let a guy know that you are interested in him or not. If you are, the guy will just keep you as a stand by option and if no, the guy will automatically, as a rule, move on... unless it's too late and he has already turned into a psychotic stalker.<br /><br />So... she kind of loved me. Every night, before hanging up, I used to say "I love you" and she used to say "I love you too... as a friend". Well, my scuffle with this "Friend" tag continued later in my life too as you'll come to know in subsequent chapters.<br /><br />It could have turned into love but, the sheer openness of our relationship ruined it. I moved to a place closer to her and suddenly, we stopped chatting... almost as if terrified that what we dreamed of, might become a reality. Maybe we liked each other as invisible telephone persons but, the thought of meeting and dating that person was too scary. <br /><br />When we finally did meet, we were both friends... hopelessly in friendship with each other.<br /><br />Friendship here can be defined as the relationship between a guy and a girl where both know each other too well to be interesting in knowing more and yet, wouldn't let go of each other.<br /><br />More later.Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-84891806753166505082010-05-18T06:48:00.000-07:002010-05-19T23:54:44.241-07:00Chapter 1: HistoryKids,<br /><br />What one does about love is based on what love does to him in his early days. Love did basically nothing to me in my early days. Your dad liked a girl in school... he kept that crush for almost 5-6 years... then, the crush got fat, grew pimples and had innumerable flings. The crush ostensibly had to fade. But the things that I liked about the first crush remained hidden somewhere in my head and I am still to grow out of those.<br /><br />I kind of had a tongue tie when she used to be around. I wanted to be a chatterbox but, could only be a box; all the chatter remained in my head. It'd be like she'd say something and I would have a really witty reply to that but, somehow I would either end up whispering that to myself or wasting so much time looking at her that the witty reply would become irrelevant to the current topic.<br /><br />Thank God I have untangled my tongue to a certain extent now...<br /><br />More laterAbhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6380128505649801357.post-61930746430560542142010-05-13T06:15:00.000-07:002010-05-16T23:37:18.998-07:00How I met your mother!<span style="font-weight:bold;">Love</span> is a commodity kids, it can be collected, stored, readily dispatched at any address you wish. So, before you seal the envelope, you have to be really sure that the address you write, is right!<br /><br />Through my series of encounters with this emotion, I will familiarize you with the rules of the game and also, will let you and everyone else have a peek into the romantic and not so romantic side of my brain.<br /><br />Before beginning the course of our journey, I would like to set a few rules. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Rule 1</span>- I won't be mentioning any names. They will all be Girl A, B, C and so on and I hope the list ends before we reach Z.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Rule 2</span>- My judgement on the girls I meet will be a strictly personal judgment and I encourage you and everyone else not to be biased to anyone. I however would try to be as unbiased as humanly possible.Abhyudayahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00313405893329011612noreply@blogger.com0