Chapter 9: How to forget...

Kids, it's 30th of December 2010. December is always associated with end of the year, it symbolizes happy endings for most of us. Christmas, New year- it's all about moving on with new hope and new dreams. December is like the last act of the play where things begin to make sense and the system seems to justify itself. It's a man-made clock, where January is supposed to work as a "Refresh" button of sorts.

Well, I do believe that nothing changes unless you make it change but these occasions where the mind is conditioned to start afresh can speed up the process. Birthdays are also examples of such occasions where you can rewind and reflect on the past. My point is- If you really want to get over someone, try to stay busy on their birthday and try not to include them in celebrations of such kind.

Festivals, holidays, carnivals are occasions when the little memory chip in your brain works overtime; it records each and every minute detail of people and things around you. It is perhaps the little anecdote accumulator in all of us that makes us do such stuff. We view these occasions aside from a chance to have fun, as times to create memories, so that when we grow old we aren't those boring oldies who have absolutely no stories to tell!

Another way to forget is to believe that you never really loved them. Since the concept of true love is so twisted that it gets you thinking and distracts you from the real thought of how much you love them, it works.

Okay now that we are on it, one surefire way to forget her is to think how annoying she is. Trust me, how much ever you love her, if she is a girl, she has to be annoying.... except your mother kids! Except your mother!

More later!

Chapter 8: The Bloopers

Kids, sometimes you wish your life was a movie and the mistakes you did were never included. Although it'd be convenient if you could sit back and check out the bloopers at the end.

We all commit mistakes. Some of us, like your dad... actually like committing mistakes, glorify them and bask in their glory. Not to be rude, I wouldn't call them mistakes; they are the oops moments in one's life. When you discover a tunnel within a tunnel, trace it to find out that the tunnel opens at the "start" point.

I had quite a few such tunnels in my lifetime, and here, I proudly announce that I am not ashamed of any one of them! That's right! I am ashamed of all of them! Just kidding.

Ok, let's get started-

Blooper 1:
See Girl no. 2

Blooper 2:
There is one thing called compatibility, kids... and there is another thing called similarity. We often confuse the two terms and land up in trouble. There is a saying that "Opposites Attract" and it exists for a good reason. Being compatible means knowing and understanding each others' quirks and respecting each others' private space. Being similar means having the same quirks and not necessarily being cool about it. I have this belief that if I had a twin who was emotionally at the same level as me, I would have killed him by now.

Well, I found this clone of mine with even more exaggerated emotional levels than mine, in a female friend of mine. This is a very simplified view of what was wrong with our friendship. Here is a list of the bloopers you shouldn't make-
1. If she doesn't listen to you even when you have that I am going to say something awesome look on your face, leave!
2. If she is in a serious relationship (read- cries at night) and you are "more than a friend", run!
3. If you only think of her when you have nothing else to do, run faster!
4. If whenever she calls, it always begins with "Can I ask you for a favour?", hang up and start running.
5. If you feel like running away, just run!



Blooper 3:
If you are friends with a girl, text late at nights only and only if you can survive the trauma of her "placing a light peck on your cheeks", "kissing you all over your mouth" and "cuddling up with you in the blanket". All these text message might sound sweet and cute to some distant alien in some far away planet. But, not to the person who just started texting this girl only one day before this natural calamity of a texting happened. I freaked out. I said, "uhh... no please" and "Eww... no! go away."

Needless to say, she didn't quite like my replies.

Blooper 4:
Kids, no matter how badly you get rejected, how badly you want to be loved, never challenge God that if He gave you someone not so good looking, one who had a voice like a thousand chalks were squeaking on a blackboard, one who grinned every time she saw you.... you'd still respect her love... because for you, love is everything. Trust me, it's not.

Chapter 7: The facts

Kids, there is something about concrete, rock solid facts. They just refuse to move. Thoughts are powerful, no doubt; in fact- half of the reality is a construct of our thoughts and moods but, the rest half is built on facts.

The fact that I have feelings for girl no. 3 wouldn't change, the fact that I wouldn't get attracted to someone easily now-- wouldn't change; the fact that she would never love me back-- wouldn't change. So the above are facts, these wouldn't alter based on my perceptions.

But, perceptions do change and more importantly, people do change. I do not perceive her as I used to before; but that does not changes the person that she is and therefore my love for her remains the same.

You might find me a little moronic if you are reading this after chapter 6 where I so vaingloriously declared that I was over her. Well, if that chapter was a story, this chapter is a lesson. And the lesson is -- never declare anything. Even to yourself. Because declaration breeds expectation and expectation creates a chance to bring you down.

I was doing fairly well; I didn't text or call. I disconnected from her. I was unhappy without knowing it. The perception was that I had moved on but the fact was that -- my feet were stuck all this time while walking off was a delusion.

I see her sad the other day and my wax heart melts to pure water. The urge to soak up all her sorrow has become second nature to me. I felt like asking what she wanted and fulfilling all her wishes right away... and to my sorrow she asked for my happiness. I gave it away. She wanted me to act normal and I complied. Giving away my happiness made me happier than ever; I knew this was short-lived but, it felt right.

A few days later... the wick burns away and the bomb explodes. It was evident that she took more Abhyudaya than needed for her purpose, it wasn't her fault... I was more than happy to give myself away but, the fact remained that I can't give her what she wants and she can't give me what I want.


I have already tried the surgical excision route, now I shall try the other way. Graft the tissue over the host until the host rejects the tissue. Clearly, she is not cut out for me and I know it; the only thing that hurts me is my love.

Here I am subjecting myself to an experiment which can debilitate me for life. I will put myself close to her until I realize that I don't love her anymore.

Kids, please realize that such experiments need divine intervention to succeed and don't try this yourself unless you must!

I will be back with the results..

Chapter 6: The Eye Opening Ceremony! Girl No. 3

Ok, so where were we kids? Yes, the embarrassing story of how I met your mother. Unrequited love makes a loser out of the biggest of players. It knocks you over before you know what hit you. It's like willingly choosing to go through the wrong path, it's like descending down the ladder knowing that once you hit the bottom, the ladder will be gone.

Next comes the phase I wish never comes in any of your lives. The phase of lunacy. You are confused. Do not know whether to chase or to let go; whether to wait and watch or run and leave; whether to burn and die or to put the fire off! It's when you are most confused. Romantic films take the job of misguiding you and how! The hero gets the girl in the end. She loves some other dude but our dude's love is pure. He helps her find the other dude's love. She realizes that our dude is the right dude for her. She ditches the wrong dude and picks the right dude. In all the movies, all the time without fail! Hindi films are rife with girls running from mandaps, last minute airport decisions and other stuff.

All this plays with your mind. You think it will happen to you without realizing how tight the security is in real airports and how a bride can't run away from real wedding because of the crowd of chacha-chachi, mausa-mausi, mama- mami, bhaiya- bhabhi surrounding her!

Love makes you restless. You throw the whole deck in the game thinking that at least one card will fall right but, this is where you go wrong. It's not a game, kids. You don't have to be a good player here. You just have to be the right player. So, while following the "heart" you enter a "club" where you unlearn how to call a "spade" a "spade" and start running after fake "diamonds". OK, enough of the wordplay, what I mean to say is that hope and faith are good in moderation. Too much faith in a happy ending blinds you; you can't see that what is happy ending for you would be sad ending for someone else... and vice versa.

Coming back to the story... I tell her I thought I loved her... in one of our train journeys. She has the whole night to think over it (she did say NO the very next second) and being the defensive player that I am, I myself told her not to take me seriously. The feeling of "Not wanting to come on too strong" could easily be confused with the feeling of "not caring about her yes or no". Anyway, in the morning, she sneezes. I say, "When did you catch cold?" She replies- "Abhi hua hai". I hear- "I love you too *blush* *blush*" I am about to faint. I ask again- "Beg your pardon?" (Take notes kids, in real love, you never feel the need to confirm the statements.)

And she restates what she said and I am more disappointed than Vinod Kambli after India's world cup loss in 1996. Anyway, over the next few months, I ask the question in one way or the other. I am slowly turning into a pillow-wetting, Devdas look-alike who would give an arm for a "yes". All the 80's bollywood where the hero sips poison, threatens to jump off tall buildings comes to the fore now. That's when I realize, I was exploring new horizons of lameness. Rejection finally dawns on me. Those were the days when you really didn't want to be around or near me. I was boring, dull, rejected, dejected and boring, dull, rejected, dejected and boring, dull etc etc...

I start with my phase of lunacy; start isolating myself from her partly because I think it will make her realize my value and also partly because I, deep down, knew that being away from her is the only thing that'd fetch me my sanity back! I could feel something breaking inside me. It hurt initially but, I knew I was going uphill with the pain and after reaching the peak, the only way possible would be downhill!

Meanwhile, she made new "best friends" and started a new story of how she met her kids' father etcetera. She did keep popping in now and then and I knew this thing won't end when I want it to end.

But, by then, it had dawned upon me that if you want to kill a friendship, you don't have to stab it mercilessly, just leave it alone and it will rot. The friendship that survives the "rot test", has to be taken through the test of "indifference". That is sure to murder even the closest of bonds. Yes, kids... I had to be cruel because sometimes, it is the right thing to do. Once you create a dragon which breathes fire, it is better to chop off its head once and for all; than to put it to sleep every night singing sweet lullabies.

So, this was how... I survived the wreck a.k.a. girl no. 3.

Chapter: 0 Meet Cute. This one is not a love story!

This one is a break from the ongoing series. Here I won't be talking about the girl but the person (who of course is a girl). Read on, you will see! The ongoing series about the girl no. 3 will resume shortly after this.

There is a certain prejudice attached to meeting people online. I am not here to address the taboo but to tell a tale that'd let you know how awesome it is to know someone nice whether online or offline.

Here's a little preface before I take you to the "meet cute"

Preface
I keep dropping this girl a line almost every day as you know I have this thing for wise eyes... and boy does she have a wise pair of eyes or what! It's not the kajal, not the eyeliner, I know wise eyes when I see them and she had got them! Ok... so I drop her lines and she replies. Mostly about the movies she likes, the books she reads. I do my homework on her, rent the movies, read the book reviews (reading the whole book is too much to ask for, frankly); listen to her favourite songs and we start talking. Now, things take the familiar course of direction. We become friends! It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I had to withdraw my fishing rod because I liked the fish to remain in the pond. Now that might be the worst metaphor to explain what happened but, yes, my attraction transformed into admiration and we became good friends.

Now, let's come to our first face to face meeting-

Meet Cute

I land in Bhopal. We plan a meet up and then things go awry. What can I say? It has happened to me before. But I am hopelessly in love with the city. So, I set out on foot to explore Bhopal and keep sharing my every little excitement with her through text messages. It turned out that each one of the umpteen messages I sent to her, delivered at least six times to her due to some network problem. I thought she'd have probably started hating me by then, but the very next day, she took time out to meet me. Brave girl I must say!

So, finally the text lands in my cell "I am leaving home, let's meet up at Chinar park". "Oh! Chinar park? That's like a few minutes walk from my place" I thought. Turns out that few minutes meant ten long minutes precisely; ten minutes which are almost long enough to lull a girl into believing that she has been stood up! Anyway, I walked, maybe a little slow because I didn't want to arrive all sweaty, smelly and panting on our first meet. It was a humid afternoon. I walked thinking of a cool opening line. "Wassup" sounds retarded, "Hi" is too stupid, "Hello" is lame. I finally finalized on "Jai Maharashtra". So, finally I reach the gates of the venue and I see a girl, with her back turned, sitting on her scooty. Mumbling "jai maharashtra" to myself, I proceed toward her. We all have our own faces, personalities and a peculiar air around us. To talk to someone for the first time, one has to break the ice first. Blame it on the heat of that sunny afternoon but, there was no ice! My "jai maharashtra" was now a tool that I didn't even need now. I used it anyway.

I walk up to her, she turns around and there she was! She extends a hand, and starts the conversation with the mention of a man who passed a comment on her a while ago. As expected from her, she is sporty about it. I struggle to see the wise eyes. They are there somewhere under the hair. I hand her the toon book I had made for her and she asks whether I use pencil first or directly draw on paper. I am forced to praise myself. Of course, directly with pens, I am awesome like that! As we walk across the park, make small talks, I am easily put to ease. She is someone before whom you can easily lower your guard because you know you are way out of harm's way. I hand her another gift that I had brought for her, but I really don't like hearing "thank you" so, I say you don't need to thank me because I made this one to impress the girl sitting beside me in the train. This was the time I realized I am turning into a compulsive liar. Anyway, the purpose was served, no thank-yous, you-are-so-sweets came my way!

The scorch in the sun drove us out of the park, we decide to go somewhere else and so we take off. She hands me the keys of her scooty. Before we take off, she turned into osama-bin-laden with that famous scarf/dupatta which turns prettiest of pretty lasses into terrorist-like things. But, I guess, it is the ultimate shield against invasion of female privacy and the strongest blocker of unsolicited male attention.

We reached Bitton market, I suggested CCD, as we were on our way, I did the deadliest mistake in the book. I looked at another girl, a pretty lass and said "God bless you" to my friend for bringing me there. Had it been a date, I deserved to be ditched right there but, as was reinforced, it was something a lot more natural than a date, everything was cool. I guess that's why you fall in love but always rise in friendship! We chose the same place from where I had seen the girl coming out, picked a place and sat with one of the most difficult-to-eat but delicious-to-taste delicacies. A mud pie. I am bad with food. I struggle while eating, the thought of someone looking at me when I have my mouth full wakes me up at nights! (Ok, that was a bit of exaggeration) But, here I was okay with pie crumbs ricocheting out of my plate because the other side of the table didn't show any lack of recklessness either! We both attacked the pie recklessly and found out the simple joy of it!

Wisdom makes life easy and as my mind predicted long ago, being with her was easy. On the road, an autorickshaw zoomed past us, spraying water from a pothole on us. I am used to loud shrieks and insane reactions on such instances; I prepared my heart for the mourning of the spoilage of the dress but, all I got was a momentary "eww" and back to normal! She is the last hope for mankind I thought to myself. My heart smiled.

Next on the list was a place up the hill from where the horizons of a large water reservoir were visible. Sounds serene, eh? Not quite in the scorching heat!! Anyway, Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was a small stroll, and a turn back. It was time for me to be dropped back from where I was picked up. All through our journey back, the thought that we might not meet for a very long time never crossed my mind... some people are so good that, your brain almost automatically switches to denial mode. I somehow thought I was gonna meet her again tomorrow and started hopping back to my place.

"Bye" she said with that hand extended again; that hand made me realize that the day was over! The sun was about to set but the sunshine didn't fade that day!

:-)

Hope to meet you again soon!

Chapter 5- Girl No. 3 The Muse Begins....

What's the word for loss of all your social abilities, unlearning of all your charming habits and desperation to please someone so bad that you stop to be the person you were?

That's right, kids. It's called one-sided, unrequited love. The biggest problem with one sided love is that it blinds you. You see the signs when there are none. You start deciphering language and symbols as they sound convenient to you. Love, which is supposed to come easy and charmingly, becomes tricky and difficult because of all the coding and uncoding that needs to be done. When she says she "luvs" you, it is hard not to believe that she is not in love with you. She just loves you as she loves her two-wheeler or her comb or her ear bud or etc etc.

So, there I was. Standing alone, with all these dreams. My situation was a shrink's nightmare because, my cognition was perfectly alright. The signs were there. Sleepless nights, late night phone calls equally from both parties, it is hard to say what was missing kids. I guess, what *was* missing is probably what they call "true love". She didn't enjoy my writings, she didn't listen to my thoughts... well, nobody does but, the most clear sign of love is knowing the person. While I claim of knowing her, I don't think she has ever met the real me. The real me would never talk to her for more than 5 minutes but, this stupid-me went on and on yakking and blabbing away God-knows-what-crap day and night with her non-stop... on the roof, in the corridor, in my room, under the bed, inside the cupboard, circling the badminton court, near the tree, in my dreams... I carried her everywhere.

One picture that I remember clearly is of her crying face. That was the first time I saw her crying. Cheeks rosy red, a hint of rose on the tip of her nose. Kajal smudged for the gothic look... it was our physiology viva exam. I remember her face and torn pieces of dove feathers in the yard. I connect the two sights so seamlessly in my mind that both come to mind when I remember the picture. My heart bled that day... I was raging mad at the professor unless I heard the sound of her chuckle. She was back to normal. That day should have been the dawn of realization that I was over-reacting... my feelings were a bit dramatized but it wasn't.

Another memory that I hold fondly is of our first date. Ok, it was just a hang out for her and a date for me. Cloud nine seemed so distantly far below from where I was standing. It was the first and last time we went out together and shame on me, the girl asked me out and the girl paid the bill too! She spoonfed me from her cup of icecream, which set my heart galloping, later I realized she did it as a habit and there was no big deal in that! For her!

Now kids, this part is a little bit hazy as she claims it never happened while I remember that it clearly happened and made me realize that she was into me. My interpretation is that she was initially into me but when she realized that I was into her she went out of me. Maybe I scared her away like Ted Mosby! Or Maybe what I am going to narrate never happened! Ok, We were discussing crushes when the topic came to the most awesome of them all- "Why in the world does no girl have a crush on me! The Legendary Abhyudaya!?" She hesitantly named a girl who did have a shadow of a crush on me and then quipped, "Guess who else had a crush on you?" With my fingers, toes, appendix crossed, I asked- "Who?" She blushed (I am lying, you really can't tell... it was a telephonic conversation) and said- "Me". I did my happy dance and then coming to my senses asked- "Now everything is fine, right? Because, it's a bed idea you know." (GOD DAMN! IT) and she replied "Oh yea yea, it was just a passing crush, it ended long back!"

So... basically... I had it screwed up since the beginning!

Chapter No. 4: The most difficult one so far. (Meeting Girl No. 3)

Ok, it's about time I introduced you to girl no. 3, kids. This is where the real story starts. We are standing right at the hole in Titanic now. It's a long story so, sit back...

It all began in a party. If I knew things would take this course, I would have got one of my toes chopped instead of going to this party. Alright, it was one of my friends' birthday and it was a dance party in the basement of a hotel. It was the month of April and sweaters weren't exactly out of the trunks. Sweat is one of the most important ingredients of dance parties. It connects humans. If you are not sweating that means you are not dancing and if you are not dancing... it means you are not having fun in the party so, basically it means you are not enjoying the company you're in and you are a misfit.

I was fresh from the break-up from girl no.2 and she was fresh from her own little break-up. If I had this back-slapping, hell-raising girlfriend, her boyfriend was one of the most eccentric, coming-close-to-MJ kind of a boy. We did see each other daily in class but, that was the day we really saw each other. It happened so that I, suffocated in the cigarette smoke, went out to get some fresh air at exactly the same time as her... and there we were! Two out-of-love, out-of-luck people. I don't exactly remember our first conversation but we clicked. We sat by the pool-side, in the parking lot... we chatted and chatted and chatted.

A little preface, the psychopath she was dating happened to be one of my friends. Don't ask me why. I liked eccentricities to the point that they turned amorous. Slowly, his eccentricity outgrew his morality and I grew out of his friendship. But, when we were friends, he had shared with me his joy when she had confessed her feelings for the first time with him. He danced around. Jumped with joy... which was actually scary but anyway! And I had seen him develop dark circles talking day and night to her. I had seen her refrain from social gatherings her boyfriend was ousted from, which basically meant each and every birthday party.

So, with that history, let's come back to the present scenario. It was a magical night. Starry sky, two strangers, similar stories, slight attraction... phew!

So, that night, SHE CALLED! I have never been called, kids. I mean I have been called but, never immediately after you have met the person and have said your good-byes, with nothing important to say. It was quite romantic for me, kids. There was romance with girl no. 1 and 2, no doubt but, it was the first time life was romancing me! I was happy. I can only guess that from her side it was the beginning of a small little friendship. She was looking for a nice friend and I was nice. One thing I was not... was friend!

Chapter 3: Girl No. 2

Kids, love is like pizza. It is best when enjoyed alone with the right kind of ingredients, custom-made and most importantly, you should not rush it! Well, pizza can be enjoyed with friends pouncing on their share, speeding up the swallowing part to have more but, you know.... I couldn't think of a better example.

Keeping aside all the crushes I fostered that slowly wilted to their fate, my first and only real romance awaited me in my first year of college. It was all things great because it was the first and it had a doomed fate because if I was chalk, she was cheese. That too, not the kind of cheese that'd make my pizza crust! That makes this chapter more of an embarrassment than a story, I am writing it down just for documentation's sake.


I won't delve into the whole "who came onto whom" saga because that's pointless and I'd be a total jerk if I told everyone that SHE totally came onto me during our long train journey together for 36 hours! Well, she cried before sleeping that night and you know me, can't see a girl cry. Little I knew that some girls LIKE to cry and they actually LIKE jerks who make them cry every night. It's like "Baby, have you wept your eyes out tonight?" "No?" "Then let me call you names and teach you the meanest and rudest curse words of our times, that'd prove how much I love you..."

The drama as I later learned was a part of her daily routine. Coming to the erstwhile scenario, I took her as a damsel in distress and made her smile, laugh and tried to be her prince charming. The charm was disarmed and the prince winced once he realized what he was doing. He was actually playing part of an ad-hoc boyfriend until the real boyfriend got jealous and stopped acting up.

For every trifle reason, she used to slap my shoulder, back, head (sometimes) and ass (ok, that was once and she said sorry for that). I found it cute for a while, like a way to touch me, to connect, until my joints started hurting and I felt the need of a shield when I was with her. I am sure though, her tight slaps would have
burrowed holes through any metal shield.

And... there was something wrong with her mannerisms. If she was telling you something, it would seem like she was on stage doing a theatrical and was supposed to be loud and clear for the audience to hear. It was annoying.

She had tales about how guys kept ogling at her and how she thinks everyone ogles at her. Even her homepage read "go ogle" instead of "google". Ok, now that was a bad one. The point is, she was self obsessed basically.

Point to be noted here is that I realized all these follies in her character once it dawned upon me that she was still in love with her ex and actually liked the psychosis associated with their relation.

One day, I withdrew my contention very politely, claiming that we will always be friends (I have not called her till now and it's been 3 years)... but we are still on talking terms.

Lesson one.
Every girl that flirts with you, doesn't see a future with you.

Lesson two.
It's not necessary to reciprocate the feelings of someone if you don't feel the same way... the playground is alluring, but it doesn't feel good when you are running around the ground in your knickers and realize that the audience is laughing at you instead of clapping. Play only when it's due.

Lesson three.
No matter how awkward your break-up is and no matter how awful your partner was, you can always be friends with your ex if you can totally get her out of your head.

Kids, your dad isn't a psycho-socially healthy being either. I would dedicate one chapter on my own follies. But, until then...

More later.

Chapter 2: Girl no. 1

Kids, love is a strange commodity. In a way it's like money. If you earn it easily, it'll fade easily.

Girl no. 1 and I met online. I know in a way, that's lame. It was like a bliss. We thought alike, I made her laugh her guts out, she got all my jokes, in a way, she can be held responsible for my pathetic sense of humour. She encouraged even the most cheesiest of my jokes that I was slowly moulded into a PJ master. I am still recovering for that.

Jokes apart, I enjoyed all our telephonic late night conversations. She brought the best out of me. She gave my inner voice a ... well, voice. Somehow I realised the value of telling someone what you think. It helps you flesh out your own ideas and sometimes, midway in the narration, you realise how insipid your ideas are.

We got along well, I thought this was it. I fell for her. Turns out, all good things come with a "conditions apply" tag. Here, the case was that... uh... she liked someone else and she had so many more options. I wrapped my feelings with guilt and shoved them to some corner of my heart. A girl who is genuinely, not at all interested in you... is a huge turn off. Girls should take note, never let a guy know that you are interested in him or not. If you are, the guy will just keep you as a stand by option and if no, the guy will automatically, as a rule, move on... unless it's too late and he has already turned into a psychotic stalker.

So... she kind of loved me. Every night, before hanging up, I used to say "I love you" and she used to say "I love you too... as a friend". Well, my scuffle with this "Friend" tag continued later in my life too as you'll come to know in subsequent chapters.

It could have turned into love but, the sheer openness of our relationship ruined it. I moved to a place closer to her and suddenly, we stopped chatting... almost as if terrified that what we dreamed of, might become a reality. Maybe we liked each other as invisible telephone persons but, the thought of meeting and dating that person was too scary.

When we finally did meet, we were both friends... hopelessly in friendship with each other.

Friendship here can be defined as the relationship between a guy and a girl where both know each other too well to be interesting in knowing more and yet, wouldn't let go of each other.

More later.

Chapter 1: History

Kids,

What one does about love is based on what love does to him in his early days. Love did basically nothing to me in my early days. Your dad liked a girl in school... he kept that crush for almost 5-6 years... then, the crush got fat, grew pimples and had innumerable flings. The crush ostensibly had to fade. But the things that I liked about the first crush remained hidden somewhere in my head and I am still to grow out of those.

I kind of had a tongue tie when she used to be around. I wanted to be a chatterbox but, could only be a box; all the chatter remained in my head. It'd be like she'd say something and I would have a really witty reply to that but, somehow I would either end up whispering that to myself or wasting so much time looking at her that the witty reply would become irrelevant to the current topic.

Thank God I have untangled my tongue to a certain extent now...

More later

How I met your mother!

Love is a commodity kids, it can be collected, stored, readily dispatched at any address you wish. So, before you seal the envelope, you have to be really sure that the address you write, is right!

Through my series of encounters with this emotion, I will familiarize you with the rules of the game and also, will let you and everyone else have a peek into the romantic and not so romantic side of my brain.

Before beginning the course of our journey, I would like to set a few rules.

Rule 1- I won't be mentioning any names. They will all be Girl A, B, C and so on and I hope the list ends before we reach Z.

Rule 2- My judgement on the girls I meet will be a strictly personal judgment and I encourage you and everyone else not to be biased to anyone. I however would try to be as unbiased as humanly possible.